


I'm a Youth that can Fly Anywhere

by hotelcortez



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Attempted mugging, Fight Scenes, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Polyamory, boxer!felix, jeonglix are each other's heroes, jeonglix bfs, past emotional abuse, student!jeongin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-04-11 17:12:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19114141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotelcortez/pseuds/hotelcortez
Summary: Lee Felix is a boxer training to be something bigger than he knows he is.Yang Jeongin is a cherry redhead with a nose for danger and a kind smile.They meet late on a fateful night, Felix saving Jeongin from the real-life monsters whilst Jeongin battles against imaginary demons in Felix's head.Too bad the universe still has a few punches left to give out.





	1. 1, 2, counter punch!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!
> 
> It's been ages since I've posted anything I'm so sorry, but I've had exams and everything and I had to stop writing for a bit
> 
> But I'm back with a new story inspired the song 'Boxer' by Stray Kids, which is where I got the idea, title and chapter titles for this fic. The world also needs more Jeonglix which is the only ship I could think of when this plot-bunny hopped into my mind, so I hope you enjoy xx

Jab!

Felix smashed his fist once more into the gloves of his coach, feet dancing around the ring and hands moving back and forth in quick succession as he attacked. 

Smack!

The sweat was gathering on his forehead, tape beginning to stick uncomfortably to his clammy knuckles, pants and gasps leaving his mouth as his tongue begged for water.

Smash!

His black tank-top had long since been soaked through with sweat and his bright orange sweatpants were beginning to stick to him uncomfortably. Blisters were starting to sting harshly on his feet from the worn-down trainers he couldn’t afford to replace.

But that didn’t mean Felix stopped. The adrenalin was coursing through his veins, the rhythm was scorching inside his blood, the familiar feeling of ecstasy was tingling along every inch of his skin. The feeling was liberating, filling him to the brim with that excruciating bite of life that everyone craved. The pain in his feet, the ache in his shoulders, the exhaustion weighing in his bones, they were all like drugs to Felix. He felt invincible. He felt unshakable. 

He felt alive. 

There was something about this stage of training, something about the power that came with launching hit after hit, something about the way growls and snarls would leave his mouth without him even realising it, something about it that Felix just craved. He was well and truly in the zone now, brain focusing on nothing but the fireworks erupting around him as his body executed the footwork, threw the punches and pulled him around the ring without him even having to think about it. 

No matter how many hours he trained, no matter how many long years he put into it, no matter how much he had given up to be able to do it, Felix never grew tired of boxing. It was his passion, his calling, his reason to live, and he was determined to chase it to the end of the earth.

Which is why him and his coach were still in the gym at 2 o’clock in the morning, both exhausted and aching but still determined to keep going. Felix had a few big matches coming up, ones that could gain him some serious attention and get him noticed by some huge names if he did well, so it was important that he was in top form. Every day he got closer and closer to being able to finally make something of his boxing career and he absolutely refused to waste even a second of it. 

So they kept going, the ticking of the clock replaced by weighted breaths and drops of sweat as the minutes ticked by.

By the time they were finished, it was at least an hour later and Felix felt ready to pass out on the spot. He downed his entire water bottle in one breath and was still panting as he carefully unwrapped his hands, being mindful of the bruises the long session had gifted him. His coach, Jeongyeon, was locking up and turning off the lights, shouting at Felix the various improvements he could make to give him an even stronger chance against his opponent. Felix nodded along, too tired to give a verbal response but needing his coach to know he was still picking up on her words of advice. 

She smiled tiredly at Felix as he changed into an oversized black and white striped top and pulled on a black beanie over his ash-grey hair. His silver chain was already dangling round his neck, glistening alongside his septum piercing and large number of cuffs and chains hanging off his ears. The tattoo on his shoulder was barely visible, just a slight smudge of ink poking out from under his sleeve, showcasing only a little of the constellation he had drawn onto his skin. 

“You going to be alright walking home at this time?” Jeongyeon asked as Felix finally stood up and shouldered his backpack, pulling his eyes up to meet at her as she finished organising her keys.

“I always am, noona,” he smiled softly, relieving her of her worries as they began to walk towards the exit together, “You know better than anyone else that I know how to defend myself.”

“Of course, I know,” she said throwing Felix a pointed look, reminding him exactly who it was he was talking to, “It’s just the subway isn’t always safe at this time of night and you have to walk to the station and then to your home in the dark. You know I’m happy to give you a lift back.”

“You live on the other side of town, it wouldn’t be fair to you.” Felix assured with one of his famous soft smiles, freckles standing out delicately on his cheeks in complete contrast to the way they seemed to glow intimidatingly whenever he boxed, “I do it all the time, I’ll be fine I promise. Safe drive home, noona.”

“You too, Felix,” she called back as she unlocked her car, giving Felix a concerned wave as he took off in the opposite direction. 

The night air was bitingly cold, but Felix did his best to ignore it as he began his journey home. He hadn’t needed a jacket when he’d walked to the gym earlier that day and so he realised how stupid he had been to not think about bringing one for the night-walk home. But it wasn’t like his jacket would do much anyway, it was second-hand and extremely thin, the only thing Felix could afford to help survive the winter. 

The little money Felix made from his minimum-wage barista job all went on the rent for his crappy apartment in the shoddiest area of town and all the funding and equipment he needed to continue boxing. He trained as much as he could around the job (often in the middle of the night or other equally unconventional times) and tried to put as much money aside as possible to pay for food and clothing, but unfortunately these were the financial areas that often seemed to suffer the most, and so Felix was walking alone on a freezing cold night without a jacket. 

He had made it about halfway to the subway station when he was distracted by the sound of shouting. Felix didn’t think much of it at first, you could get some real crazy people walking around late at night, but soon the shouting was accompanied by a scared yelp that had Felix’s heart jumping into his throat, his feet taking him towards the sound a second later without even thinking.

Whoever had yelped had sounded absolutely terrified and Felix’s fighting instinct flamed, pulling him into a sprint as he ran towards what sounded like cries of terror. The person sounded so young, so innocent, that Felix’s own fear was replaced by nothing but a sense to rescue, a sense to save, a sense to protect another young person from the horrors of the world.

Felix booked it around a corner, familiar adrenalin beginning to pound against his heart as he raced into an alleyway to find two large guys pinning a kid who couldn’t have been older than Felix against a wall.

Anger briefly tingled along Felix’s fingertips, feeling eerily like the boxing gloves he was so used to wearing. His mind was screaming at him to hurt these men, to rip them away from the young boy and ensure that they never got the chance to hurt an innocent kid again. 

“I told you I don’t have anything, I’m sorry!” the kid was crying, a hot pink hoodie standing out against cherry red hair as the two men loomed over him, not yet leaving injuries but looking more and more inclined to do so as the kid choked on a sob.

Felix felt his chest tighten at the sight, instantly feeling inexplicably protective of the kid he hadn’t even met. There was just something about the way his voice shook and wobbled devastatingly that made Felix feel like he wanted to hold the boy and shield him from all the monsters on the streets. There were tears on his cheeks that most definitely didn’t belong there and Felix somehow knew that if this kid didn’t have terror written all over his face, then he’d be smiling the most dazzling smile the world had to offer. He just had that youthful look, the young childlike eyes, the puffy cheeks that made Felix want to melt on the spot. 

“You must have something!” one of the men yelled, features pulled into deadly snarl as he pushed his face right into the boy’s, drawing a terrified whimper from his lips that had Felix seeing red.

“Hey!” Felix’s terrifyingly deep voice was echoing powerfully down the alleyway before he’d even realised he’d opened his lips, his bag falling off his shoulder and his feet pulling him a step forward, fists curling into their usual fighting position, “He said he didn’t have anything, leave the kid alone!”

Both men instantly whipped around, keeping their grips on the boy strong but straightening up dangerously to face what they assumed was going to be an extremely intimidating man if the anger in his voice had been anything to go by. Shock graced their eyes for a second as they caught sight of Felix, taking in his boyish features that in no way matched his voice before both their faces twisted in amusement. 

“Leave ‘the kid’ alone?” one of the men sneered with a playful growl, eyeing Felix up and down like a predator would eye up their prey, “You’re just a kid yourself, what are you going to do?”

“I’m not going to do anything if you let him go right now,” Felix growled, ignoring the cackling of the two men as he let his eyes travel between the middle of them, to where the kid was staring at him like he didn’t know whether to be relieved or even more terrified. 

Felix met his glassy eyes with a nod, taking note of the way there was a slight relief in the boy’s shaking form and the way his chest was stuttering up and down when Felix tried to silently reassure him. They hadn’t ever met once, but Felix couldn’t help but feel that him and this boy already seemed to have some kind of unspoken connection forged in the darkness. 

“What makes you think we’re going to let either of you go?” Felix’s attention was re-directed to one of the men as the taunt filled the air, “This kid may not have anything, but that’s not saying you don’t.”

With that, the man started walking forward and Felix was done playing nice. He waited until the man was only a foot in front of him before pulling back his fist and smashing into his face, feeling the sickening crunch of bone under his knuckles as the man grabbed his nose and crumbled with a strangled wail, blood gushing out between his fingertips. 

Felix didn’t even hesitate before adding a forceful kick to the man’s ribs, knocking him from his kneeling position and sending him reeling to the floor with a choked cry. Shock momentarily fogged Felix’s mind as he watched the man collapse. He wasn’t used to fighting like this, wasn’t used to throwing fists intending to hurt, wasn’t used to extending his legs in strong kicks. Usually Felix fought with just his fists, and those fists were always constrained by strict rules and regulations that prevented him from actually hurting his opponent. 

But then Felix heard a cry of warning from the young boy and whipped his head up just in time to see the other man charging towards him, face burning with cold fury. This man wasn’t going to follow the rules Felix was so used to, wasn’t afraid to actually do some damage, and so Felix let his mind reel back to all he knew about fighting dirty as he prepared to defend himself. 

Felix’s arm came back again as he got ready to throw another punch, but he was tackled before he even had the chance to move, back colliding with the concrete and pain blooming all the way down his neck as his head smacked the floor underneath him. 

For a second, Felix was encased in total darkness, the world around him kamikazeing to nothing but the agony in his skull. But then the weight on top of him shifted and Felix bit back a cry as a fist was forced directly onto his face, landing harshly on his eye and bringing a salty waterfall streaming down the left side of his face. He really did cry out when the fist came down a second time, this time landing on his lip and bringing the metallic taste of blood to his tongue as the man’s legs continued to tighten around Felix’s stomach, cutting off his air supply. 

Felix should have been panicking, should have been freaking out, should have given up by now, but that wasn’t him. Felix was a boxer, a fighter, and he had taken his fair share of punches in his life, both on purpose and accidental. The man on top of him may be angry and a lot stronger than Felix was used to, but that didn’t mean he was just going to lie down and take it. 

With gritted teeth biting down onto his split lip, Felix used one small hand to grab onto the man’s neck and growled loudly as he took advantage of the attacker’s momentary surprise to flip them both over. They landed in a tangle of limbs, Felix on top and barely even processing the new position before he was throwing his own punches, hitting the man directly in the temple three times in a row and watching as his eyes rolled back and body went slack under Felix’s touch. 

It was a gruesome sight, watching the life temporarily leave a man’s eyes as a result of something he had done, but then a small dribble of blood leaked from Felix’s lip and onto the man’s face and Felix didn’t feel too bad about it anymore, not with the gruesome way he could feel his own eye slowly swelling up. 

For a second, there was nothing but the sound of Felix’s strained breaths filling the air, his heart just starting to calm down, but that was before a terrified cry pierced the silence and Felix suddenly found he couldn’t breathe at all. 

“Look out!” It was the kid, screaming a warning that came a second too late as a harsh kick landed directly between Felix’s shoulder blades and sent him reeling a few feet away on the floor, air leaving him in a rush and pain exploding all down his back. 

“Little brat!” Came the agonised shout, and Felix was able to lift his head up enough to see the first man standing over him, blood still streaming down his face and nose sitting at a crooked, deformed angle, making him look like some kind of bloodthirsty psychopath from a horror movie as his crazed eyes twinkled dangerously in the darkness. 

A spark of fear lit in Felix’s chest, concocting dangerously with the pain in his back as the man drew back his leg and readied himself to throw another kick to Felix’s stomach.

It was with a fresh new wave of terror that Felix realised he was way out of his league. These men were ready to hurt, were ready to damage, were ready to kill, and Felix was too small and scared and young to stop them. Sure, he had gotten a few punches in, but that was nothing compared to what they were both physically and mentally prepared to do to him, nothing compared to the pure crazy swirling violently through their blood. 

Felix had only ever fought sane opponents, ones that wanted to win but never to kill. The same could not be said for these men. They had gone after two kids and Felix, in an attempt to save them, had only managed to anger the two attackers. It was true that Felix was a fighter, but that didn’t mean he always won, and it was with a pained breath that he realised he was about to lose.

He tried to prepare himself for the kick, tried to prepare himself for the rib-shattering volcano that was about to explode, but it never happened. Instead, an unidentifiable scream filled the air and Felix watched with horrified eyes as a flash of pink soared past him as the kid flew out of nowhere to tackle the man to the ground. 

They both landed with a harsh thump, freezing momentarily before the kid let out another cry and tried to scramble away, pure fear shining his eyes and entire body shaking with childlike terror. 

Felix wanted to cry at the sight, wanted to protect this boy with everything he had, wanted to try and preserve whatever innocence he had left, and that was exactly what gave him the final last boost of strength to jolt up and throw himself into the gap between the man and the kid, determined to never let a single piece of pain touch this boy again. 

“You!” the man sat up and roared, spitting blood in Felix’s face and baring his teeth as he started to lunge forward. 

But Felix had predicted this next move, had seen what the attacker was going to do, and didn’t even hesitate as he brought his bloody knuckles back one more time and rammed them directly into the man’s already broken nose, hating himself for the feeling of bone deforming under his skin. 

A tormented wail filled the air, one that had Felix squeezing his eyes shut before the man crumpled to the ground, unconscious from the horrible pain Felix had just inflicted. 

It made Felix want to throw up, made him want to scream and cry and laugh and run all at once as he tried not to picture the two unconscious bodies around him, the two unconscious bodies he was responsible for.

Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, Felix knew he had done the right thing, had given to two evil men what they were probably going to give to a kid. But that didn’t change the fact that Felix still had blood on his knuckles, didn’t change the fact that he’d done the one thing he’d always promised not to do.

Sure, Felix was a boxer, but he’d always sworn to himself that he’d only ever use his fighting skills for good, that he’d never hurt another person with them. He fought for the thrill. He fought for the fun. He never fought to cause pain. 

“H-Hey,” a small voice broke through Felix’s thoughts and he flinched back despite himself, feeling electricity sparking through him at the feeling of gentle fingers ghosting over his chin.

“I’m so sorry!” the voice was louder this time, still shaking and terrified, but enough to properly bring Felix back to the real world as he snapped his head up the meet the large fox-like eyes of the boy he had saved. The kid was clearly shaken up, hoodie sleeves pulled over his hands and arms held close to his chest as he crouched down in front of Felix and stared at him like he wasn’t quite sure what to do. 

“No,” Felix shook his head, hunching over a little as he dragged in a shaky breath, wincing slightly as his back tightened in pain, “Don’t be sorry, it’s okay. I just… I didn’t… I’m sorry.”

Felix trailed off, unsure how he was supposed to put his thoughts into words as the kid leaned a little closer to him, surrounding Felix with a comforting kind of warmth that made him want to grab him and never let him go.

“You definitely don’t need to be sorry,” the boy said, fiddling a little with his sleeves as he looked directly at Felix, the first stages of a smile starting to tug slightly at the corners of his eyes, “You saved me.”

Felix couldn’t help the small tinges of relief that bloomed in his chest at the boy’s words. It almost made him forget about the bodies around him, about the blood on his hands, about the pain in his knuckles. Because even though Felix had hurt someone, he had also saved someone, and that boy was now sat in front of him, looking all kinds of cute and thanking Felix for protection he shouldn’t have even required in the first place. 

“I… I had to,” Felix tried to smile, but the movement pulled on his torn lip and he flinched at the sting, feeling more blood dripping down his chin.

“Hey, be careful,” the boy said, a slight frown marring his features as he shuffled forward and brought up a sleeve to wipe gently across Felix’s jaw, Felix decidedly ignoring the way his heart fluttered at the touch, “Are you okay? You’re not hurt too badly, are you?”

“No, no, I’m okay,” Felix reassured, trying to force himself not to gaze too hard into the eyes of the boy as he leaned a little closer, determined to get all the blood off Felix’s face, “It’s just a few bruises. I’m used to it.”

At that, the boy froze, a small ounce of fear flitting across his face before he brought his eyes up to Felix’s, the two staring at each other for a second before the concern written all over the boy’s face became too much and Felix hurried to explain himself.

“No! That came out wrong! I’m a boxer.” Felix said, the boy’s shoulders slouching slightly as he flashed a relieved smile, “It’s how I knew how to… how to punch them properly.”

Felix gestured slightly at the men, shrinking on in on himself as he realised the boy was probably going to be scared of him now, was probably going to see as him as just as violent and horrible as the men who had tried to hurt him in the first place. 

Felix had hurt someone, and this pure soul had watched him to do it.

But then an even bigger smile dazzled along the boy’s face, bringing sparkles to his eyes and childlike glee to his lips, a cheeky expression gracing over his features.

“Hi boxer,” the boy said with his toothy grin, “I’m Jeongin.”

Felix giggled slightly, relief flooding through his veins, “Hi Jeongin. I may be a boxer, but people usually call me Felix.”

“Well then, Felix,” Jeongin said, brushing a strand of red hair away from his forehead as he sat back on his heels, “What d’ya say we get out of here?”

“Sounds good to me,” Felix smiled back, accepting the hand that was offered to him, only just now noticing the mint-green nail polish and heart-shaped rings decorating Jeongin’s fingers. 

As much as Felix tried to keep the atmosphere light-hearted, he couldn’t help the small groan that left him as he was pulled upwards, a sharp pain flaring in his back that had him squeezing tightly to Jeongin’s hand.

“Felix?” Jeongin quickly asked, placing his other hand on Felix’s shoulder to steady him, “Hyung? Are you my hyung? Are you okay?”

“Born in 2000,” Felix was able to force out, managing a couple of deep breaths before the pain seemed to settle a little and he looked back up at Jeongin, “I’m okay, just a little sore.”

“Well, hyung,” Jeongin said, staring softly down at Felix, “I think it’s best we get home? My apartment is only a few minutes from here, how far away are you?”

“Oh… I have to get the subway,” Felix answered honestly, tearing his gaze away from Jeongin as he tried to reach down for his bag, Jeongin stopping him halfway and picking it up himself, throwing it over his own shoulder, “You don’t have to carry that.”

“You’re injured, of course I do,” Jeongin said like it was obvious, taking Felix’s hand again and leading the two slowly away, “I can’t let you take the subway like this, you’re still covered in blood. Come stay the night at mine.”

“No, I couldn’t-“ Felix tried to object, but Jeongin was already silencing him with a toothy smile.

“Don’t worry about it, hyung,” he chirped, “You saved me, so it’s really the least I could do. “

“Really, Jeongin, it’s okay,” Felix said, tugging on Jeongin’s hand and pulling them both to a stop on the dark pavement, staring into each other’s starry eyes as they tried to reassure one another.

“Felix, I’d feel so much better knowing you were safe,” Jeongin responded, his thumb now rubbing circles onto the back of Felix’s hand, before his face broke out into yet another beautiful smile that Felix knew he could never say no to, “Besides my roommates will probably want to thank you. They’re really protective of me so they might be a bit off at first, but once I tell them what you did for me they’ll be all over you.”

“Roommates?” Felix asked as the two resumed walking, seemingly reaching a mutual agreement to go back to Jeongin’s.

“Yeah,” Jeongin pulled them around a corner, into an estate that looked like a mixture of dorms and apartments, “It’s a student apartment. We’re all studying at the same place and we’re all good friends from lower school and stuff like that, so we decided to room together.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Felix said, “How many are there of you?”

“Including me, there’s eight,” Jeongin answered, laughing loudly and squealing slightly at Felix’s shocked face, his excitement making Felix want to melt right there and then, “I know that’s a lot, but you’ll love them, I promise. Oh my god, they’re going to be so jealous when they find out I have another hyung!”

Felix couldn’t help but snort at that, feeling warmth spread through the hand that Jeongin was holding and travelling all the way up his arm, blooming throughout his whole body as Jeongin continued to giggle about the seven older boys who were apparently infatuated with him. And hearing Jeongin speak, Felix couldn’t say he blamed them. He no longer regretted what he had done to the men. Seeing Jeongin smile, knowing he had protected this boy, made it all worth it for Felix.

He’d beat up a thousand men if he knew this beautiful boy was safe.

Soon enough, Jeongin was carefully pulling Felix through a glass door and down a corridor with a load of numbered doors, presumably other student apartments. Felix tried to count them as they walked past but found it increasingly more difficult as the pain between his shoulders started to flare once more, prompting Jeongin to cast worried glances Felix’s way as his grip tightened on the young boy’s hand.

“We’re here now, hyung,” Jeongin said softly as he pulled Felix into his side, taking out his keys with his other hand and unlocking the door to help Felix through, Felix now becoming a lot heavier against Jeongin’s side.

“Jeongin? Is that you?” Felix heard the voice that echoed against the walls the moment they were both through the door and, even through all his injuries, Felix’s fighting instincts were still able to pick up on the protectiveness laced within it. The shackles in his mind raised a little, reminding him to be careful.

“It’s me, hyung!” Jeongin shouted back, carefully closing the door behind him and pulling Felix further against him.

“Where the hell have you been?” the voice was accompanied by quick footsteps and Felix braced himself for the reaction his bruised, sweaty form was going to get as it was leant against Jeongin, “We were so worri-“

The boy that swept into the doorway had a concerned expression on his face, mouth open as he cut himself off mid-word. His eyes immediately fell on Felix, narrowing harshly as he took in the black eye, split lip and bruised knuckles, all of which were in close proximity to Jeongin.

Debating within himself whether to introduce himself or not, Felix took in the clearly older boy’s blonde hair and tan skin, a large silver nose ring standing out on his bare face. His broad shoulders poked out under a black t-shirt that showed off his muscled arms, legs covered by ripped grey sweatpants. Felix could tell the boy was strong, maybe not effective at nimble, fast tactics like Felix was, but definitely good with brute strength… something Felix desperately hoped was not going to be used in this situation.

“Who’s this?!” the boy demanded, voice like ice and posture sharp, face set somewhere between concern, anger and confusion. Everything about him, from his stance to his harsh eyes, screamed leader and Felix briefly considered letting go of Jeongin to stop the way the boy was protectively raking his eyes over how the pair were clinging to one another. 

“Calm down, Chan-hyung,” Jeongin smiled a little, tilting his head at Felix and nudging his shoulder, “He’s younger and smaller than you.”

“That still doesn’t tell me who it is,” the boy apparently named Chan responded, Felix relieved to hear less of a bite to his words this time, Chan’s eyes having now moved over the injuries to land on Felix’s young face and fairy-like freckles, features softening at the sight.

“This is Felix,” Jeongin grinned, entire face lighting up in a way that made the whole room glow, before his expression dropped suddenly and Jeongin’s face turned serious, “Hyung, Felix is really friendly. He… he saved me.”

“Saved you?!” Chan was instantly in protective mode again, and Felix felt his fight or flight instincts flaring dangerously as another figure appeared behind him in the dark hallway, this one staring at Felix with narrowed, catlike eyes. 

Jeongin seemed to sense Felix’s distress as he was quick to pull him closer, soft fingers brushing gently against his skin and sending sparks of warmth tingling through Felix’s veins. The touch was tender and grounding, so much so that Felix almost forgot entirely what situation he was in.

No! He shook his head. He couldn’t do that! He’d already been caught off guard once tonight. He had to remember that, as far as everyone in this house knew, Felix was a threat and he needed to be wary that they might just act on this belief. They were clearly protective of Jeongin, and Felix was evidently not the type of person the young boy usually brought home. 

“Minho-hyung,” Jeongin said as his eyes travelled to the second figure in the hallway, a slender brunette with messy dark hair and a loose plaid shirt hanging over even looser shorts, evidence of sparkly eye shadow and lip gloss only recently being washed off his face, “Listen, I know this is unexpected and you’re probably going to tell me to go to sleep, but Felix-hyung is hurt and I could really use your help.”

Both Minho and Chan looked like they were about to refuse, fists clenched and shoulders tense as Felix squirmed uncomfortably under their brutal gaze, wincing slightly when the movement tugged harshly against the bruise on his back. 

All three faces suddenly became drastically concerned at that, Jeongin swallowing nervously as his gaze flitted panickily over Felix’s face. Chan and Minho looking shocked at how much younger Felix looked when he was in pain.

“Hyungs, please!” Jeongin sounded desperate now, whipping his head round to the two other boys who didn’t even hesitate before rushing over.

“Okay, it’s okay,” Chan was speaking with a honey-like, soothing voice that had Felix recoiling at the familiar accent as large hands landed gently on his shoulders, Chan still looking unsure but seeming to trust Jeongin more than he distrusted Felix. 

“I’ll go get some ice,” the one Felix thought was called Minho said before dashing off into the darkness, Jeongin and Chan now tugging Felix in the opposite direction, turning lights on as they went.

“We’ll get you on the sofa, okay hyung?” Jeongin said, trying to sound cheerful as his hand once more entwined with Felix’s, the two sharing a soft smile before they reached the living room and Felix was gently helped to collapse on his stomach on the sofa.

“There you go,” Jeongin was crouching down in front of him within a second, fingers stroking softly through Felix’s hair and thumb carefully brushing over his black eye, Felix feeling his insides melt at the tender touch. It had been so long since anyone had cradled him like this, since anyone had cared for him, and this was beautiful boy was doing it already. They’d only just met, but Felix already knew Jeongin had an extremely warm heart.

“Here put this on your eye,” Felix heard another voice say, before there was suddenly a freezing cold sting wetting his face and drawing a large flinch from his whole body, Jeongin giggling and shushing Felix lowly, helping him to relax as he carefully brushed Felix’s bangs away from the ice pack.

“It’s okay, hyung,” Jeongin said, “We’re going to put another one on your back now, okay?”

Felix barely had time to nod before his t-shirt was gently lifted and ice soared through every cell in his body as a sharp bite of cold landed directly between his shoulder blades, drawing small shivers from him as he tried to get used to the feeling. For a couple of uncomfortable seconds, the pain mingled brutally with the cold and Felix could only squirm until icy relief spread smoothly along his skin and he relaxed onto the sofa once more. The ache in his shoulders began to lessen slightly and he could feel the fingers in his hair gradually stop shaking as Jeongin was able to calm down too. 

It was only now that the adrenalin was wearing off that Felix realised how tired he was. There was a deep form of exhaustion rooted firmly into his bones, the soft hands on his scalp most definitely not helping anything as Felix’s eyes started to grow heavier.

He briefly registered Chan coming to sit in front of him on the sofa, clearing his throat to get Jeongin’s attention. Jeongin looked up with wide eyes, noticing the questions lingering on the apparent leader’s face as Minho took a seat next to him on the floor.

“Jeongin,” Chan spoke quietly but still managed to sound serious, “What happened, buddy?”

Jeongin’s eyes darkened at that, his hands stilling against Felix’s head as the memories all came rushing back. Gently lifting his own fingers to latch onto Jeongin’s wrist, Felix tried to share with him the strength that would help him get through this, tried to remind that they were both alive and okay and they had gotten out. Jeongin met his eyes with a grateful smile, opening his mouth as Chan and Minho listened intently.

Felix tried to stay awake, he really did, but the sound of Jeongin’s voice was so soft and the fingers on his skin were so gentle and Felix really couldn’t stand to hear about how scared Jeongin had been before Felix had shown up, how tightly the men had gripped his arms, how forcefully they’d slammed him into the wall. 

Tears prickled in Felix’s eyes as he realised he should have gotten there sooner, should have been early enough to make sure Jeongin never had that fear in his voice. The guilt turned out to be the final straw for Felix’s exhaustion, his body and brain shutting down as he tried to fight against the effects of a late night, a spike of adrenalin and a whole array of pain and emotions. But no matter how hard he tried, Felix’s eyes still drooped, and he fell asleep to the feeling of Jeongin’s warm hand squeezing his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading chapter 1!! I really hope it was an okay start, we'll be meeting the others in the next chapter I promise
> 
> Speaking of which, I have a couple of exams left so I don’t know when the next update will be up, but all it needs is a read-through so I’ll post it as soon as I can <33
> 
> Have a blessed day and take care xx


	2. Everybody bring it on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything had happened so fast; one minute he’d been training like every other night, and the next he’d been fighting off dangerous men and being invited back to a cute boy’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 2!!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who read and enjoyed the first chapter, I hope this chapter lives up to expectations. There's not much action yet but some definite hints at the plot to come
> 
> Enjoy!! <3 xx

“…Lix? Felix? Wake up.”

Felix grumbled in his sleep, trying to bat away the hand that was gently shaking his shoulder. There was an annoying voice speaking close to his ear, sounding slightly familiar but not familiar enough to prompt Felix to want to wake up anytime soon, sleep still stubbornly clouding his mind.

“Felix? Are you okay?” The voice asked, and this time Felix’s shoulder was shaken enough to have him wincing in pain, all the memories coming back to him in a rush as the recognisable feeling of bruises spread down his back. 

His eyes flew open and he scrambled around in the multiple blankets he was wrapped in to try and sit up, flinching when the stings in his split lip and black eye decided to make themselves known.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” the soothing voice said, soft large hands gently resting on Felix’s upper arms and helping him into a sitting position, pushing him back so he could lean against the sofa, “You probably shouldn’t move too fast. We kept icing your back last night, but you’re still going to be sore.”

Felix could only nod as he allowed his sleepy brain to catch up to him, slowly processing how the blood on his face had been washed away, his shoes and beanie had been taken off and three Pokémon blankets had been draped over the top of him. The boy Felix thought was Chan was sitting on the edge of the sofa, staring at Felix with a little apprehension, but also a little concern, allowing Felix to relax slightly as he remembered he was waking up in what was basically a stranger’s home. 

“Thanks for… for helping me,” Felix said, voice deep and heavily-accented at this time in the morning, prompting Chan to raise an eyebrow in what seemed like an almost knowing expression, “I understand it’s probably not normal for Jeongin to come home with rough-looking strangers like me in the middle of the night.”

“You’re not rough-looking,” Chan said with a small smile, “Sure, the bruises were a little off-putting, but you’ve got a babyface and freckles and you’re probably younger than a lot of people in this house.”

Felix snorted a little at the words, suddenly remembering just how many roommates Jeongin had. It was only then that Felix recognised the background noise from a few rooms away, sounds of a large group of people making breakfast and chatting amongst themselves. Eyebrows furrowing, Felix processed how they were all going to react to him, how he was going to face up to seven boys who probably wouldn’t want him anywhere near Jeongin.

“Hey, don’t worry about the others,” Chan seemed to sense Felix’s train of thought, tugging lightly on Felix’s chin so they could look at one another, “Jeongin told us all what happened.”

The words were probably supposed to be reassuring, but Felix flinched like he had been burned. If they knew what happened, then they knew what Felix had done. They knew he had knocked out two guys. They knew he was dangerous. They knew he what he was capable of. 

“I’m sorry,” Felix scrambled to say, hands quickly coming up to cover his face, “I know what I did was wrong. Knocking out those two guys, god I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t be around Jeongin, he’s too… too good. I just couldn’t leave him. I couldn’t let them hurt him. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, Felix! Felix!” Chand was moving closer, gently pulling his wrists down so he could look at Felix, shock and worry sparkling in his eyes at the fear on Felix’s face, “None of us are angry, okay? None of us think like that. In fact, we all want to thank you. You saved Jeongin, you saved our friend, and we couldn’t be more grateful for it.”

Felix took a couple of seconds to process the words, Chan’s hands still holding his wrists in between the two of them, their eyes locking and trying to convey to one another how the other felt. Felix wanted to be accepted by them, wanted them to know he only wanted to save, wanted them to let him see Jeongin. 

“You’re not… angry?” Felix managed to ask, voice painfully hopeful in a way that made something in Chan’s eyes break, “You’re not worried about me getting involved with Jeongin?”

“Of course not,” Chan’s face was serious, slowly pulling Felix’s wrists down to his lap and shuffling even closer to further narrow the gap between them, “Jeongin sounded so sincere when he spoke about you, and you saved him, none of us could ever be angry for that.”

It took a couple of seconds for the words to click, but when they did a large relieved grin broke out on Felix’s face, the emotion so prominent Felix barely even felt the sting in his wounds at the expression. 

“Thank you,” Felix smiled, eyes sparkling, “Thank you…. ummm, it’s Chan, right?”

Chan grinned, a mischievous spark twinkling in his yes, “Yeah, that’s right, but I take it Jeongin is really the one you want to see?”

Felix couldn’t help the blush coating his face, “Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind.”

A loud laugh filled the room as Chan patted Felix’s shoulder a couple of times, promising he’d be back as he disappeared out the room. Felix took the time to untangle himself from the blankets and reach down for his bag that was lying on the floor by the sofa. He pulled out his phone, hoping to message Jeongyeon since he knew she’d be freaking out that he hadn’t texted her saying he’d gotten home safely. Unfortunately, his phone was dead, and Felix had to hope someone in the house would be kind enough to lend him a charger. 

“Felix!” an excited squeal travelled through the door of the room and Felix looked up just in time to see Jeongin running in, stopping in the doorway a couple of seconds to take in Felix’s appearance before rushing over to sit next to him on the sofa, “Hyung, how are you feeling?”

“I’m good,” Felix said, wrapping an arm around Jeongin’s shoulders, taking in the pastel yellow sweater and ripped jeans Jeongin was wearing, a black flower crown sitting loosely over his red hair, “Are you feeling okay? Did you sleep well after everything?”

“I slept great,” Jeongin smiled a little, looking down as he opened his mouth to speak again, “I seriously can’t thank you enough for last night, I don’t know… I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t showed up.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Felix reached up to brush away the bangs that had fallen into Jeongin’s face, “You’re safe and fine now and that’s all that matters, okay?”

Jeongin looked up and it was only then that Felix realised just how close the two were sat to each other, eyes silently searching one another’s faces as Jeongin’s fingers started unknowingly teasing against the skin on Felix’s wrist, both boys feeling their skin light up at the contact. 

“Ahem,” An exaggerated cough from the doorway broke them both out of their daze as they jumped apart, heads whipping up to see Chan leaning against the doorway, smirking down at them, “As much as I hate to interrupt this moment, the others want to meet Felix and I can only hold them back so long before they all decide to come barging in here.”

Felix recoiled a little at the words, wondering just how crazy Jeongin’s roommates were as loud, indecipherable screeching broke out from what Felix assumed was the kitchen, a series of satanic giggles following shortly after. 

“Oh no,” Jeongin couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on Felix’s face, “Don’t worry, hyung, they won’t kill you, I promise.”

Felix was left wondering what the hell kind of promise that was before Jeongin tugged him up off the sofa, making towards the door of the room before Felix quickly stopped him.

“Wait,” Felix said, grabbing onto the collar of his blood-stained t-shirt, “Do you mind if I change out of this first?”

Jeongin’s eyes lit up in realisation, “Of course, hyung, I’m so sorry! Do you need to borrow anything?”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Felix smiled, trying to hide his blush at the idea of wearing Jeongin’s clothes, “I usually take spare clothes to training, but would it be okay if I… if I maybe used your shower?”

“Of course,” Jeongin said, reaching down to pick up Felix’s bag, “This way.”

Felix wanted to object to Jeongin carrying his bag, but he knew that like last night, he probably wouldn’t get anywhere with it, so he stayed silent as Jeongin pulled him down a long hallway, directing him to a door on the right before telling Felix to shout if he needed anything and leaving him behind with a dazzling grin. 

All beautiful boys aside, the shower gave Felix perfect opportunity to think about everything. Everything had happened so fast; one minute he’d been training like every other night, and the next he’d been fighting off dangerous men and being invited back to a cute boy’s house. It was unlike anything Felix had done in a while, unlike anything that had happened to him since he’d begun his lonely life in Korea. Sure, he had his boxing friends, but Felix knew their friendship wasn’t nearly as strong as the one Jeongin clearly had with his roommates. It made Felix’s chest tighten in a way that was almost painful, heart squeezing with what was probably jealously, sadness and maybe even a little trauma twisted unnervingly into the mix.

Felix had gone from walking home alone to waking up in a house with eight other people, six of which he had never spoken to before. He couldn’t say he didn’t welcome the change, Felix had always had a strong sense of adventure, it was just something he hadn’t explored much since he’d gone on the biggest adventure of all from Australia to Korea. 

Maybe it was time for a new adventure, Felix thought to himself as he dried off, ears managing to pick up on the infectious laughter floating its way around the apartment. Felix would be lying if he said he didn’t crave having someone to laugh like that with. 

He pulled on a short-sleeved dark blue hoodie over faded ripped jeans and ruffled his grey hair a couple of times, rummaging through his bag for the extra bracelets and rings he usually wore. He threw the blood-stained clothes from last night haphazardly back into his bag, out of sight and out of mind until he had an opportunity to wash them.

Nerves tingled unsettlingly along his skin as Felix followed the eager sounds of conversation through the apartment, making his way to what he guessed was the kitchen. He could only assume that’s where he was going to meet everyone, where he was finally going to be introduced to the people he had no idea whether to be scared of or not.

His journey led him to an open door, Felix stopping to take a couple of shaky breaths before slowly inching himself into the doorway, being greeted by the sight of eight boys spread out around a messy kitchen. 

They were the spitting image of relaxation, some of them sitting at the table, others lounging around on the counter, several seeming to have found their way into someone else’s lap. A spike of pain tightened briefly in Felix’s chest, a reminder of how lonely he was, of how much he missed friendship, of how he would never have something like this beautiful group had. 

It took a few moments for someone to notice him, all of them too wrapped up in each other to spy the small kid standing shyly in the doorway. Felix was almost tempted to slip away when a soft-featured brunette caught his eyes, sitting at the table and flashing a beautiful puppy-eyed smile Felix’s way before opening his mouth.

“Hello,” he said softly, prompting the two boys slung over him to turn their heads Felix’s direction, which of course caught the attention of those sat opposite them, and then those on the counters, and before Felix knew it, every eye in the room was on him. 

There were a couple of seconds of brief silence, Felix having to stop himself from squirming from the feeling of eyes burning into his facial injuries and bruised knuckles. A sharp sense of judgement filled the air, sending electricity sizzling dangerously through Felix’s instincts as he hid in his hands in his hoodie pockets, uncomfortable with the stares he could feel towards them. The urge to slip away became too difficult to ignore and, if not for the excited squeal that echoed through the room a second later, Felix would have bolted right there and then. 

“Felix!” the innocent screech was, of course, Jeongin and Felix couldn’t help the small smile that stretched across his cheeks at the sound of it, the whole room seemingly losing all its apprehension when a shy giggle left Felix’s lips.

Jeongin was by his side in a flash, pulling him into the room and showing him off to everyone, “Okay guys, this is Felix. You all have to be nice to him.”

Felix ducked shyly at the words, not failing to notice how Jeongin seemed to direct his words specifically at a couple of people, presumably the more protective ones. 

“Hello Felix,” the first greeting came from the brunette who had originally spotted Felix, he was skinny but fairly tall, with messy hair and an adorable pair of round glasses sitting perfectly on his nose, pristine white collar poking out under a neat blue jumper, “I’m Seungmin.” 

“Hi Seungmin,” Felix couldn’t help but notice the way the two boys sat either side of Seungmin moved a little closer to the boy when Felix spoke to him, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Seungmin smiled before gesturing at the boys with arms sloped over him from either side, “These are my boyfriends, Hyunjin,” he jerked his at thumb at a tall gorgeous boy with a shiny leather jacket and studs through his lips, hair so blonde it was practically white with jet-black roots stylishly visible on the top of his head, “And Changbin,” Seungmin pointed at the other boy, this one shorter but with a jawline that could cut steel, eyebrows slit in several places with a piercing through the right one, wearing a ripped black t-shirt with several silver chains around his neck. 

Felix waved at them all, unable to hold back the grin at the sight of the cute nerdy boy with his two badass boyfriends, watching how Changbin and Hyunjin relaxed a little when they realised Felix meant no harm. 

“And I’m Woojin, it’s great to meet you,” a voice from the other side of the room prompted Felix to turn around, finding a larger boy with a motherly aura smiling warmly at him from his position on the counter. Woojin had dark hair and stars hanging from both ears, a loose lilac top hanging over white jeans and feet encased by fluffy polar-bear socks. His eyes lit up as he spoke, face the perfect image of love and kindness as his lips pulled up into a grin, Felix instantly feeling more comfortable around him.

On top of all this, Woojin also had an absolutely beautiful boy draped over his shoulder, the one that Felix was pretty sure he had met alongside Jeongin and Chan the previous night… Minho?

Minho had a plaid red beret resting over sleek black hair, earrings resembling keys hanging from his ears and silver eyeshadow lying delicately on his eyelids. His lips shone a glossy pink, standing out against his white t-shirt and black and white dress shirt hanging unbuttoned over stylish red jeans. There was a tattoo of a rose poking out on his collar bone, similar to the various planets, stars and cute cartoon figures Woojin had dotted on his shoulders. 

“Hi Felix,” Minho smiled an almost deadly smile, feline features forming a perfectly-sculpted face, “I believe we met last night.”

“Yeah we did,” Felix nodded nervously, “Minho, right?”

“That’s me,” Minho’s eyes pulled up slightly at the corners, and Felix was keen to observe the softer kitten side he knew Minho was hiding, becoming even more noticeable when Woojin laced their fingers together and Minho melted further against him, “Are you feeling better? You seemed hurt last night.”

“I feel a lot better now, thanks,” Felix responded quietly, relaxing slightly and smiling a little as he gestured at his bruises, “These should all clear up in a few days and it’ll be fine.”

“That’s good,” Minho’s expression softened, catlike eyes becoming tender and maternal as his sight travelled down to Jeongin and Felix’s linked hands, “I’m sorry if I came across as a little cold, I just really wasn’t expecting our Jeongin to drag you in.”

“I’m sorry too,” Chan added from his spot in one of the chairs closest to where Felix was stood, the older boy now dressed in a red tank top with a cap over his blonde curls, silver nose ring now switched to a black one, “I probably should have helped you sooner, I didn’t realise what had happened.”

“No, it’s okay,” Felix shook his head, “You guys still took care of really well, and I definitely would have been surprised if I was in your situation. It’s okay, I’m thankful.”

“I think we’re the ones who should be thankful,” came a new voice, this one lively and eager, making Felix jump slightly as he heard it. 

“I’m Jisung!” came the voice again, and Felix turned his head just in time to see a sparkly-eyed boy with chubby cheeks springing out of his chair to land on the table, neon blue hair bouncing against his forehead and somehow perfectly complimenting the pink eyeshadow and loose rainbow jumper the boy was wearing, sweater paws framing his face as he cupped his chin with his hands and tucked his legs underneath him to sit cross-legged, “It’s great to meet the hero!”

“Oh my god,” Felix groaned, using both hands to cover his face in embarrassment, “I’m not a hero.”

“But Hyuuuung,” Jeongin whined, quickly using his fingers to pull away Felix’s hands so the two could stand face-to-face, mere inches between them as Jeongin stared at Felix with such a serious look that it took his breath away, “You’re my hero.”

And if Felix’s face went a deep tomato red with the entire room exploding into indecipherable shouting around him, then that certainly wasn’t anyone’s business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I hope this was okay
> 
> The next chapter will include a huge hint at what's to come so do look forward to that. I'll probably upload it around Friday <3
> 
> Have a blessed day and please remember to love and care for yourself xx


	3. You can't stop me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Felix, Jeongin was full of life, full of light and full of love, something Felix was very happy to cling to and never let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 3!!
> 
> Thank you so much to anyone who has read and enjoyed the first two chapters and for returning to read this third one <33
> 
> There is a definite clue as to what is to come in this chapter but also some fluffy Jeonglix that I had way too much fun writing
> 
> Enjoy!! xx

Sneaking into a university campus was a lot easier than it should have been, Felix discovered as he weaved his way down the many corridors to surprise a certain little student after his class. It was a little after lunchtime on a random sunny day and Felix had been delighted to find that the security on Jeongin’s university campus really wasn’t that tight, and Felix could basically walk around as if he was a student. 

It had been about a week since the attack on Felix and Jeongin, and Felix’s injuries were healing nicely, now no longer anymore bothersome than the lecture Jeongyoen had given him when she learnt what had happened. Of course, that had come after the hug she’d given Felix that’d been so tight he hadn’t been able to breathe.

As well as Jeongyeon, Felix had also had plenty of contact with Jeongin and his friends over the past few days. Every single one of them had messaged Felix to thank him for what he had done after he’d rushed off to work on the morning of waking up in their apartment, and from every thank you message Felix had been able to start a conversation. 

He’d learnt that the eight roommates all had a lot in common; they were all studying music in some shape or form, with some of them doing music production or technology whilst others studied music or dance with possibly another subject alongside. Seungmin did music and law, Woojin was training to a teacher with a music qualification on the side, and Felix couldn’t help but admire all of them. 

Apparently, that had admiration had gone both ways too, because both Hyunjin and Minho had been ecstatic to learn that Felix could dance as well as box. They were already planning a meeting amongst the three of them in one of the university dance studios.

Then of course there was the squealing phone call that had taken place between Felix and Jisung when they’d learnt they were practically twins. And the way ‘dark rapper’ Changbin had typed out a load of fast-paced excited keyboard smashes when Felix revealed he also liked to rap. And then the extensive late-night conversations Felix had been having with Chan since finding out they were both Australian. 

So, Felix thought it was safe to stay, he’d made a few friends.

But, of course, the one Felix had spoken to the most was Jeongin. The pair had been texting each other every minute they had spare, Jeongin even coming to visit Felix at work a couple of times after class. It was through this, and a rather large number of texts, that Felix had been able to figure out Jeongin’s class schedule.

Which is what had led him to where he was now, following the university maps to the classroom he knew Jeongin would be coming out of soon. He had the day off work and wasn’t training until later in the evening, so Felix figured it was the perfect time to finally properly hang out with Jeongin. He was wearing an oversized neon-orange jumper with his knuckles still bandaged from his earlier session. His jeans were dark grey and ripped, leading down to worn black boots with dark blue laces that he’d bought second-hand a few months ago. 

The door to Jeongin’s classroom opened just as Felix leant against the wall opposite, a few students exiting in a hurry before Jeongin ambled out, chatting to some people Felix didn’t recognise as he zipped up his bag. His eyes lit up in surprise the moment he spotted Felix, a wide grin breaking out on his face as he quickly said goodbye to his classmates and hurried over. 

“Felixxie!” Jeongin squealed, pulling Felix into a tight hug, “What are you doing here?”

“I had the day off and I knew where your class was, so I thought I’d surprise you,” Felix smiled, his hands hooking themselves around Jeongin’s shoulders, “You don’t mind, right?”

“Of course not,” Jeongin pulled away from the hug, using his coral pink nails to smooth out his purple cardigan and adjust his t-shirt where it was tucked into dark-green cargo pants, not normally a fashion choice Felix would go for but one that definitely looked good on Jeongin, “I’m free for the rest of the day.”

“Perfect!” Felix grinned, reaching forward and snatching Jeongin’s bright blue bag off his shoulder and throwing it over his own in a quick move, the various keyrings Jeongin had hanging off the zips all jangling cheerfully together as Felix swept away down the corridor. 

“Wait, hyung!” Jeongin was quick to run after him, “Give that back, you don’t need to carry my bag.”

“Sorry no can do, little bean,” Felix tutted, “Bag-carrying is exclusively my job now.”

“Oh my god, you’re awful,” Jeongin moaned with an exaggerated roll of his eyes, trying to act annoyed until he was linking arms with Felix a mere three seconds later.

The pair chatted all the way to the park, Felix listening to Jeongin rambling about his class and answering his endless questions about Felix’s training that morning. It was nice for Felix to finally be able to talk about his boxing with someone who wouldn’t judge him for enjoying the sport, for someone he still saw him as the sweet, sensitive person he was regardless of the gloves he wore. Jeongin was naturally curious about Felix’s fascination with it, especially since Felix had confessed to vowing to only ever use his skills for good during one of their phone calls one night. It was what had prompted Jeongin to promise to be at Felix’s next match, eager to see Felix fight in a fun situation, rather than against two men who had been trying to hurt him. 

That was something else that had brought the two closer together. Naturally, they’d both been a little shaken by the night a week ago in which they’d been attacked by two men. As much as they just wanted to forget about it, they’d both struggled to sleep, finding comfort in each other during the long first couple of nights that had only promised nightmares and flashbacks. Things had slowly been improving, Felix’s bruises almost having faded away and Jeongin no longer feeling his pulse shooting up every time he looked outside his window to see that it was late, just as dark as it had been when he’d been grabbed from behind and wrestled into an alleyway. 

Of course, Jeongin’s friends had tried to help, but no one understood their feelings better than they understood each other’s and so Felix and Jeongin’s friendship had taken mere days to fully bloom, the pair getting to know one another quicker than they’d ever gotten to know anyone before. 

It was nice, like a breath of fresh air in a world that was starting to cold. To Felix, Jeongin was full of life, full of light and full of love, something Felix was very happy to cling to and never let go.

“Here we are,” Jeongin’s declaration drew Felix out of his thoughts as they walked together through the open park gates, arms linked and smiles wide as the sun beamed down on them from a gorgeous blue sky. Felix had been about to pull them over to a free spot next to some daffodils when Jeongin let out a yell of recognition, bouncing on his feet to point to a couple of people lying together under a magnificent oak tree. 

“Look Woojin-hyung and Minho-hyung are here!” Jeongin exclaimed, taking off and quickly pulling Felix in the right direction as Woojin and Minho looked up with matching sunshine smiles, waving the pair over. 

“Hey guys,” Woojin said cheerfully as Jeongin and Felix hurried over, greeting the couple as Jeongin flopped dramatically onto the ground.

“Wow Felix,” Minho raised an eyebrow at the bag slung over Felix’s shoulder and Jeongin’s arm holding tightly to his own, “Didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

“Yeah me neither,” Felix shrugged a little as he settled himself on the grass, “Just thought I’d stop by.”

“Stop by?” Woojin tilted his head, loose yellow button-up lying comfortably against his neck as he absentmindedly played with the fingers Minho had draped over his knee, “At a park right next to our university campus? A whole subway ride away from where you said your apartment was?”

Felix spluttered to find an answer, Jeongin’s mouth opening to speak for him before a single word had even entered his mind, “He snuck onto campus to surprise me after class.”

“Jeongin!” Felix exclaimed, already feeling his face beginning to heat up, “Just tell everyone, why don’t you?”

“Awww, Lixie,” Minho cooed, tilting his head in a way that made his white off-the-shoulder jumper shift a little, his collarbones glowing in the Sun, “Didn’t know you were such a softie.”

“Who’s a softie?” Jisung asked as he arrived, purple crop-top hanging above neon-blue leggings that matched his hair as he settled himself next to the group, cheeks puffed in mischief.

“No one!” Felix cried, at exactly the same time Jeongin shouted, “Felix!”

Jisung burst out laughing, prompting the raised eyebrows of Chan as the older appeared from nowhere and sat down at the other end of the circle, wearing all black with gold chains that matched his nose ring hanging off his belt, his confused expression only strengthening at Felix’s pout.

“That’s Felix-hyung to you,” Felix huffed to Jeongin, his pout only lasting another two seconds on his face when Jeongin started giggling, Felix’s heart most definitely not melting at the sight. 

The pair continued to poke and prod and annoy each other as a new conversation started around them, Jisung complaining about his teacher whilst Minho snickered at him and Woojin attempted to offer advice. Chan cast them looks every now and again, smiling endearingly at Felix and Jeongin’s childishness, unable to hold back the snort at Jeongin carefully slipping Jisung’s phone from the unsuspecting boy’s pocket and taking at least a hundred goofy selfies on it with Felix before carefully placing it down on the grass by the pocket he’d taken it from. 

Seungmin smirked as he ambled over, clearly indicating he’d seen the whole thing but only shaking his head at Jisung’s questioning expression. Settling himself on the floor with Changbin and Hyunjin either side, his light beige jumper and white beret somehow complimenting their black t-shirts and tattered jeans. 

“Hey Felix,” he smiled warmly as he pushed his glasses up his nose, “Didn’t know you’d be hanging out with us today.”

“I was free,” Felix said nonchalantly, forgetting who exactly he was sitting with as at least three different variations of “Felix snuck on campus to see Jeongin!” rang through the air, Changbin and Hyunjin’s faces lighting up in identical laughs as Seungmin rolled his eyes.

“Wow,” Felix huffed to himself, his hair flying away from his face at all the air he released in fake-annoyance, “Forgot I was surrounded by a bunch of snakes.”

Cackles and protests all melded into one as the group reacted to Felix’s accusation, his loud laughter blessing their ears as Jeongin tackled him, face scrunching up in the cutest anger Felix had ever seen.

“How dare you call me a snake, hyung?” Jeongin glared down at Felix from where he was pinning him to the floor, knowing full-well that Felix could definitely fight him off if he wanted to but deciding to risk it as Felix simply smiled amusedly up at him, “You have to buy me a milkshake now.”

“Buy you a milkshake?!” Felix spluttered, now matching Jeongin’s glare as the two stared at each other, determined to wait the other out as they both refused to back down.

“You know, Felix,” Chan smirked knowingly, “Jeongin absolutely loves banana milkshakes, they make him very happy.”

“Wait, really?” Felix broke the eye contact to look at Chan, neck craning awkwardly as he tried to shuffle with all Jeongin’s weight still pressed on top of him.

“Really,” Jeongin confirmed, nodding as Felix turned to face him again, bottom lip jutting out in his signature maknae pout, “They’re my favourite, hyung.”

Determination filled Felix’s eyes, Jeongin briefly wondering what that meant before Felix flipped them both over, landing on top of Jeongin and staring down at him with a satisfied smile.

“Guess that settles it, little bean,” Felix said, allowing the suspense to build up a couple of seconds before using his bandaged hands to dramatically spring himself to his feet and walk off with his head held high, shouting casually over his shoulder, “Banana milkshake for Jeongin, anyone else want anything?”

Felix snorted as every member of the group shouted something different at him, trying to commit as many of the answers as possible to memory as he walked off. He knew that the group probably didn’t actually expect him to buy drinks for all of them and it would probably cost him most of his measly life savings, but he figured it would help him bump himself up on their good lists, so he fired a quick text to Jeongin asking him to message back with as many of their orders as possible without letting them know he was going to buy them. Jeongin replied with a message of protest, saying Felix didn’t need to do that for everyone but then Felix threatened the future of Jeongin’s banana milkshake and the younger boy obliged without another word.

Carrying nine drinks certainly wasn’t easy, but Felix did his best. He was also pretty certain he’d gotten something wrong considering the boys all liked to drink a whole variety of different things ranging from a green tea for Woojin and an iced vanilla double-shot latte with cream for Hyunjin.

But Felix had definitely gotten the banana milkshake right, and that was all that really mattered to him as he unsteadily made his way back to the group, two full cupholders balanced precariously in his hands. 

He was so focused on the drinks that he didn’t see the familiar figure coming to stand in front of him and blocking his path as he walked, the person’s arms quickly coming up to grab onto Felix’s to stop him before there was a coffee collision of epic proportions. 

“Wha- oh, hey,” Felix quickly recovered, flinching slightly at the strange touch on his arms but flicking his bangs out of his eyes and letting out a breath in realisation as he caught sight of who it was, “Oh Jaemin, sorry, hi how are you?”

“Not bad,” Jaemin smiled his famous million-dollar smile, flirty eyes roaming over Felix’s face before falling amusedly down to all the drinks he was carrying, “Bit thirsty today?”

“Something like that,” Felix smiled awkwardly, feeling his palms begin to sweat against the trays, desperately hoping Jaemin wouldn’t keep him long. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Jaemin, the two had been training out the same gym for as long as Felix could remember and Jeongyeon even partnered them up together sometimes, but they weren’t all that close. Sure, they were civil and friendly with each other, but they’d never really had enough in common to hit it off with one another. Jaemin was also a little too flirty for Felix’s taste, not that he’d ever say it out loud.

“Well, I won’t keep you,” Jaemin said much to Felix’s relief, smirking slightly as one of the drinks started to slip off the tray and he reached out to catch it in a sharp, heroic move that had Felix’s eyes widening, “Goodbye Felix.”

“Bye,” Felix quickly said, averting his eyes when Jaemin winked. It was most definitely fun to train with the guy, but Felix couldn’t see himself forming a friendship with him. 

He shook his head as he carried on over to the group, so shocked by the sudden encounter that he didn’t see Changbin storming towards him, rage all over the older boy’s face.

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?” Changbin snarled as soon as Felix was in earshot, Felix jumping so hard he almost dropped all the drinks.

“Wha…?” Felix stuttered, pausing in his step to stare at the group. Changbin stood in front of them all like a guard-dog protecting their owner, anger and pain apparent on all the boys’ faces as Changbin practically growled. 

“Do you really think it’s funny to talk to him?” Minho snapped from where he was sat, Felix recoiling at the venom in the boy’s words, a nasty feeling of fear starting to twist its way through his stomach.

“I… I don’t… what?” Felix managed, cupholders dangerously close to slipping from his hands as he took a shaky step back, not sure whether to be confused or downright terrified.

Changbin took another step forward in response, and Felix swallowed heavily at the familiar action. He’d seen this in the ring a million times before, he knew when he was being threatened, he knew when someone was trying to wield their power over him. But this time Felix wasn’t inclined to step forward himself, wasn’t inclined to present his own level of power, wasn’t inclined to show he was willing to fight back. This time Felix wanted to cower and shake and run because this wasn’t supposed to be his opponent, this was supposed to be his friend. 

The devastatingly confused look in Felix’s eyes seemed to be enough for Jeongin as the boy was quickly dashing to his feet and shoving past Changbin, feet taking him to Felix and hand coming to rest against his shoulder as he spoke.

“Hyungs,” Jeongin had pain on his face and fear in his voice, Felix shocked to notice there were tears in his eyes as he turned to address the group, “Please don’t yell at Felix, there’s no way he could have known.”

The statement only ignited more questions frazzling through Felix’s mind, but he chose to stay silent as the group remained tense, a couple of seconds passing with electricity crackling in the air between them before Changbin nodded reluctantly, going back to sit between Hyunjin and Seungmin who each took one of his hands. 

Jeongin breathed a sigh of relief, turning to Felix with a sad smile as he wordlessly took one of the cupholders, beckoning at Felix to come and sit down next to him. 

The circle didn’t utter a single word as Felix re-settled on the grass, swallowing heavily as he placed down the drinks without giving them out, unsure if the group would be willing to take them after the anger they’d just displayed. 

“Is…” Felix decided to be the one to break the silence, a million thoughts swarming through his mind as eight pairs of eyes all pierced into him, prompting him to shuffle back a little and effectively exclude himself from the circle, “Is everything okay?”

Another few moments of silence passed, so suffocating Felix felt like he was being strangled as the seconds ticked by. A couple of looks were shared, silent communication flittering around the group that Felix felt like an intruder looking at before his attention was diverted to Chan who had made a point of loudly clearing his throat. 

“Felix,” Chan’s voice held no emotion, leaving Felix unsure as to whether that was a good or a bad thing as the leader carried on, “Do you know that boy? The one you were talking to just now?”

“…Yeah,” Felix answered honestly, eyes darting around the group as he wondered what Jaemin had to do with anything, “We train at the same gym. I don’t know him very well, and honestly I don’t like him that much, but every now and again we get challenged to try and beat each other up, so it’s usually best for us to try and remain on civil terms, you know?”

He said the words hoping the group would understand that he truly had no idea what was going on, that whatever he had done was not intentional. A couple of faces fell into relief, a couple more just nodding whilst a few remained apprehensive, Jeongin quickly taking Felix’s hand and looking around at everyone. 

“See?” Jeongin said, voice shaky but still firm enough for him to make his point, “Felix-hyung didn’t know, so there’s no reason for you to blame him.”

Sighs filled the air as Jeongin spoke, an unspoken something passing between them as Felix looked around, no longer sure if he was welcome there anymore. The questions were flying through his brain, twisting and mingling as he tried to think of what to ask, tried to think of which one of the million questions was appropriate to say. 

“Don’t know what?” Felix asked after a couple of seconds, feeling Jeongin’s hand tense in his and immediately panicking at the action, “Sorry! I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable! You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, I know it’s probably not my place.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jeongin said quietly as he turned to face Felix, sadness rooted deep in his eyes that made Felix’s heart constrict so much he almost couldn’t breathe, “Everyone just practically yelled at you for simply talking to a guy that you train with, you deserve to know what’s going on.”

“Jeongin,” Felix carefully reached out and cupped the younger’s face with his free hand, thumb rubbing gently over the younger’s chin as his voice dripped with comfort, “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to,” Jeongin looked up to meet Felix’s eyes, a feeling of unspeakable strength passing between them before Jeongin looked away and blew out a harsh breath, taking a couple of seconds to let his mind settle before opening his mouth again, “Jaemin… he’s my ex.”

Felix’s first reaction was surprise, his mind blanking for a few seconds as he took in the information in. Jaemin and Jeongin had been together? Jaemin and Jeongin had been a couple? Felix had no idea, his brain scrambling for a few seconds to figure out how that was possible, before he remembered the tears in Jeongin’s eyes and a horrible thought came to his mind.

“Wait,” Felix said, looking down to where he was still cupping Jeongin’s face, “Did Jaemin break up with you? Did Jaemin hurt you?”

“If by hurt you mean he cheated on Jeongin multiple times and manipulated him into thinking it was his own fault, then yes, Jaemin did hurt Jeongin,” Hyunjin spoke up before Jeongin could answer, ice tingling viciously against his every syllable as his words filled the air, Jeongin letting out an exclamation of ‘hyung!’ as Felix saw red.

“Oh my god, Jeongin,” Felix said, tilting himself down and bringing Jeongin’s face up so there was barely any space between them, Jeongin almost gasping at the mixture of pure sincerity and concealed anger he could see flickering in Felix’s eyes, “I really hope you know it wasn’t your fault. I always knew Jaemin was an asshole and what he did just proves it. It’s not your fault and you deserve so much better, okay? I hope you know that.”

Jeongin’s face morphed into a smile that was too old on his young face, his hand tenderly coming up to wrap around Felix’s wrist as he slowly broke the two apart, holding Felix’s hands in between them, “I do know,” he said sincerely, gesturing at the group, “The hyungs helped to teach me that.”

At that, the other seven in the group all nodded, looking at Felix in a way that was a lot more calm and apologetic than the anger they’d been displaying before, Felix relieved to think that he might have redeemed himself in their eyes.

“Good,” Felix smiled softly before allowing his face to pull up into a wide grin, “Hey, maybe we should consider it a good thing I know him.”

“And why’s that?” Jisung asked, an undertone of harsh questioning to his voice, but his eyes twinkling in a way that suggested he had caught on to Felix’s mischief. 

“Because, as a boxer and as someone who sees him regularly, I now have plenty of opportunities to punch the hell out of him,” Felix answered, the entire group exploding into cheers and laughter around him, Felix sighing in relief as he realised they were definitely not angry at him anymore. He took that as his cue to shove both trays of drinks into the middle of the circle, telling everyone to help themselves. They all yelled out their thanks, swooping in like vultures to collect what was theirs.

Jeongin was somehow able to safely grab his banana milkshake and Felix’s cappuccino, passing Felix his drink and popping the straw to his own with a satisfied smile, face lighting up as he took his first sip.

“You won’t actually punch Jaemin, will you?” Jeongin asked after a couple of seconds, voice casual but Felix still able to identify the slight nervous edge swirling within it, “At least not when you’re not supposed to be punching each other.”

“If you don’t want me to, then I won’t, Felix answered honestly, eyes roaming Jeongin’s face to check that the younger believed him, “Trust me.”

“I do, hyung,” Jeongin’s face brightened with its beautiful smile, “I trust you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm…...
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter!! Please do feel free to leave a comment, I love reading them
> 
> Do you like Felix calling Jeongin 'little bean' because honestly it kinda makes me melt inside
> 
> Also, my exams are now officially over!! Which means I have already started to work on what I want to publish after this story so I'm a l i t t l e b i t excited
> 
> Have a wonderful day and remember to eat well!!


	4. Was that too serious?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At some point, Felix should have guessed that the world start fighting back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya :)
> 
> Welcome to chapter 4, thank you so much for making it this far!! This chapter's a little heavy. 
> 
> TW: discussion of past parental emotional abuse, please don't read if it may upset you, I really really don't want to upset anyone
> 
> Enjoy! <3

It was days like today that Felix couldn’t help but feel bad about himself. 

It had been a few weeks since he’d met Jeongin and the two were sat together at Jeongin’s kitchen table, the apartment alive with activity around them. Woojin and Minho were loudly and obnoxiously singing at each other over a big pot of food they were cooking. Seungmin was sat reading in the living room, Hyunjin cutely demanding attention by flicking the pages and poking his cheek in neediness. Changbin and Jisung were hunched over a computer at the other end of the table, trying to fiddle with the beat of their song to make it better. Jeongin and Chan were sat to the right of Felix, both looking through Jeongin’s homework and working together to complete it. And Felix was… Felix was just sat there.

He didn’t have any homework to work on, any assignments to complete, any reading to do and it only served to remind him how stupid he was. These eight amazing boys around him, these eight clever boys, they were all studying and going to school and working ridiculously hard to achieve their dreams, whilst Felix was what? Felix was struggling to maintain a job and keep his hobby going, the only thing he was good at not being enough to make a full-time career out of. He couldn’t help but feel so small, so talentless, so useless when they all surrounded him like this, reminding him that he would never have the money to go to school, that he would never speak Korean well enough to be as intelligent as them, that he would never master his dreams as well as they mastered theirs. 

Sure, Felix was good at boxing, but what was that compared to Woojin, Seungmin and Jeongin’s glorious high notes? Compared to Chan, Changbin and Jisung’s relentless dedication to their craft? Compared to Hyunjin and Minho’s skill and agility? 

Felix was just a broke, lonely boxer who couldn’t get anywhere with his life, who was he to sit anywhere near these boys? 

A sigh dragged itself out of Felix’s lips as he heaved himself out his chair and trailed over to the counter to make himself a cup of coffee, yet another thing he had to feel guilty for. The guys were constantly letting Felix come to their apartment, leaving a key for him on late nights he didn’t want to walk all the way back to his own apartment and letting him sleep on their sofa and giving him food and drink without ever demanding he pay for it. Felix tried to protest every time, but he knew that even if they did ask him to pay he probably wouldn’t be able to afford it anyway. So now he kept silent, trying to stay out the way and not be annoying as they all continued to live their amazing lives. 

He’d asked himself many times why he didn’t just cut ties with them, why he didn’t just leave them be so they could go on without him holding them back. He’d been tempted to many a time, even almost doing it on a few occasions, but he just couldn’t bring himself to deprive himself like that. He liked the group, they made him happy and he didn’t want to let that go. So, he stayed. He knew it was selfish, but he just couldn’t bring himself to leave. 

There was also another reason he couldn’t leave, one that had a lot to do with the adorable cherry redhead Felix was staring at over the rim of his coffee cup, but he was refusing to let himself acknowledge that, refusing to even consider it a possibility. 

So, he stayed quiet, drinking his coffee and wondering what excuse he should use to make sure Woojin didn’t try to give him dinner again, dinner he would never be able to pay him back for. 

“Hyung… Felix-hyung!” Felix blinked a couple of times as Jeongin’s voice reached his ears, the younger coming to stand in front of him with concern flickering in his eyes.

“Oh hey, little bean,” Felix plastered on a smile, “Finished your homework?”

“I’m not a little bean, hyung,” Jeongin protested against the nickname for probably the millionth time in their friendship, “I’m taller than you.”

“That’s a matter of opinion,” Felix remarked, removing a hand from his mug and carefully using it to brush a stray strand of hair away from Jeongin’s face, the younger softening at the contact and trying to lean into Felix’s hand, Felix not knowing whether to coo or cry at the sight, “Now you didn’t answer my question, are you finished?”

“Yeah, I’m done,” Jeongin yawned softly, taking Felix’s hand, “Can we go lie on the sofa, hyung? I’m tired.”

“Of course,” Felix replied, turning to put his empty mug behind him before slowly leading Jeongin to the living room, silently berating himself for not noticing the boy’s tiredness sooner. 

Jeongin trailed behind him, wearing a pair of bright pink pyjama bottoms and a loose white top, nails bright yellow against Felix’s hand. Felix had on a short-sleeved bottle green v-neck and dark blue jeans, eyebags prominent under both their eyes, Jeongin’s from studying and Felix’s from increased working hours and extended training. 

They settled on the armchair next to where Seungmin and Hyunjin were still cuddling on the sofa, Changbin now having joined them and snoozing lightly against both their chests whilst Seungmin continued to read his book over his head. 

Felix leant against the back of the armchair with Jeongin in his lap, the younger letting his head rest against Felix’s chest as Felix began to trace smooth patterns on his arms, the silence pulling him back into his own mind as he started to think about how much he didn’t deserve moments like this, how Jeongin could be cuddling with someone so much better. 

The room began to fill up as Woojin and Minho finished dinner, bringing all the food with them and handing it out as everyone spread out around the floor and sofas to eat. Jeongin took his bowl, eating it whilst half-asleep as Felix declined his own, claiming he didn’t want to accidentally spill food all over Jeongin who was still in his lap. 

Neither of them participated much in the group conversation, Jeongin too focused on trying not to fall asleep and Felix too caught up in the thoughts in his head. Both their ears perked up, however, when Woojin mentioned wanting to get a new tattoo, Minho immediately getting excited and Jisung and Hyunjin shouting out ideas as the group all nodded along.

“You have a tattoo, don’t you?” Jeongin’s voice was small and tired as he spoke up from Felix’s lap, but he still had a childish glint of curiosity glittering in his eyes, Felix immediately wanting to melt at the sight.

“I do,” Felix answered, shifting a little and pulling up his sleeve to show Jeongin the exquisite constellation he had spiralling on his left shoulder, not big enough that it covered his whole forearm but not small enough that it lacked detail either. 

“Wow,” Jeongin’s eyes went wide, fingers lightly coming up to brush over the inked stars, “It’s beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Felix couldn’t hold back a small smile, skin tingling at Jeongin’s touch. Jeongin continued to trace it, eyes raking over the beautifully-drawn night sky and twinkles as the two sat together, a blanket of comfort coming to settle over them.

“Wow, that’s gorgeous!” Felix looked up to see Jisung watching the two of them, his eyes staring directly at Felix’s tattoo.

“Omg, it is,” Woojin joined in, “I never noticed you had a tattoo, Lix.”

“Thanks,” Felix said, heart warming slightly at the nickname, “I got it just after I came to Korea.”

“Well, it’s beautiful,” Chan said, several sounds of agreement accompanying his words, “Why’d you get it?”

Felix tensed slightly at the question, a frown filling Jeongin’s eyes as he noticed the action. He carefully took his fingers off the tattoo and helped Felix pull his sleeve down and shift back to a normal sitting position, Felix starting to squirm at all the eyes he now had on him.

“When I first came to Korea,” Felix said, eyes downcast and hair falling in front of his face as he spoke quietly, “It became hard to remember why I’d even come here. I could barely speak the language, I didn’t have a lot of money, I’d completely lost my family in the process, and it… it was hard. I lost track of why I had even decided to move here in the first place, lost sight of the dreams that I was chasing.”

“So…” Jeongin’s voice hesitantly pierced the silence the coated the room as Felix paused to get his thoughts in order, fiddling uncomfortably with his hands, “You got a tattoo to remind you to always chase your dreams?”

“Kind of…” Felix tilted his head as he answered, still too afraid to meet anyone’s eyes as his face scrunched up, wondering how he was supposed to explain everything, “My parents never approved of me boxing, they always saw it as a hobby I would grow out of rather than a full-time thing. They wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer or something, but I was never that academic and I struggled in school, and I think the older I got the more they lost hope in me.”

Felix dragged in a deep breath, feeling Jeongin’s hand coming to hold his as his mind started to storm, thoughts of his family and the worthlessness he felt at home mingling with the self-doubt he felt here with Jeongin and everyone else. He couldn’t believe he was telling them this, couldn’t believe he was showing them even more vulnerability and giving them even more reasons to look down on him when they were all so perfect… all so strong.

The feeling he’d felt when he’d be at the receiving end of his parents’ criticism, when he’d listen to them talk about how he was letting the family down, when they’d insulted and put down everything he enjoyed, it was the same feeling he had now. The same feeling he felt when surrounded by the beauty and talent of Jeongin and his friends.

“The only one who really liked the fact that I boxed was my little sister,” Felix forced himself to continue, voice getting smaller and shakier, “She always thought it was cool, and the older she got the less she cared about what my parents said. She was also obsessed with the stars, she studied astronomy and had constellations painted all over her room. When I told her that I was moving out, that I was not only leaving our parents but also planning on leaving the country to try and start a new life, she told me to always look at the stars, to always remember that they were the same stars she would look at, to always think of her when I felt hopeless so I could remember that we’d both be looking at the same sky, going on our different journeys together.”

“Is that… is that constellation you have tattooed one of the ones that was in her room?” Seungmin spoke up, eyes sad and sympathetic in a way that made Felix want to throw up. He didn’t deserve their pity. 

“Yeah,” Felix swallowed heavily, “I brought a picture to the shop with me and the artist copied it. I guess now it’s a reminder to always do what my little sister wants of me, to always chase the dream that she encouraged.”

“Wow, Felix, that’s so… brave,” Minho said, a faraway look in his eyes, Felix unable to hold back his gasp.

“Brave?” he whispered, now looking straight at Minho who furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Yes, brave,” Minho nodded, “Not caring about what your parents said, coming all the way over here with little money and knowledge of the culture and still finding a way to do what you love. It’s really incredible.”

The entire group nodded along, and Felix felt his insides twist painfully. They shouldn’t be admiring his actions, shouldn’t be looking up to him and the things he had done when what they had done was so much better.

“I don’t know,” Felix said, looking away, “I couldn’t have done any of it without my sister.”

“Do you still talk to her? Your little sister?” Chan asked, and for a second Felix felt like his entire body was on fire, a familiar dagger stabbing through his chest.

“I did for a bit,” Felix said, so quiet he was practically whispering, “But when my parents found out they cut off all communication between us. I’m… I’m out of the family now.”

An uncomfortable silence settled around the room, one that crawled irritatingly across Felix’s skin as his fists clenched, a knot made up of longing and shame beginning to twist itself around his throat. 

“Felix…” Jeongin started saying, but Felix cut him off.

“Don’t.” He shook his head, eyes firmly on the floor as he carried on, “I know I’m not smart like you guys. I know I don’t have an education or a background like you do and I don’t have your skills, but I don’t want you feeling sorry for me, I don’t want…”

Felix trailed off, unsure what he was trying to say, unsure what it was he was really feeling as panic began to swirl in his chest. Was he really this weak? Could he really not keep it together long enough to hold a conversation with the group? 

“I’m sorry,” Felix said simply before standing up abruptly, turning around to deposit Jeongin in the now empty chair behind him, “I’m going to train.”

He practically ran out the room, stopping by the kitchen to grab his bag and jacket before dashing to the front door. He’d clasped his hand around the door handle when he realised the jacket wasn’t actually his own, it was one he’d borrowed from Hyunjin and it’d be wrong of him to keep it. So, Felix turned and hung it up on the coat rack, the time it took to do so being the one second that Jeongin needed to catch up to him. 

“Felix!” Jeongin cried, grabbing onto Felix’s wrist and stopping him from leaving as Felix whipped around, “Please don’t leave.”

“I need to train, Jeongin,” Felix fought to keep his voice steady, meeting Jeongin’s concerned eyes with a determined look, needing to show Jeongin that he had to go.

“I don’t know what you’re feeling, Lix,” Jeongin quickly said, “But all that stuff about education and not being as clever as us, we don’t care about any of it. Just because you’re not at our university doesn’t mean you’re not clever Felix, you’re a genius.”

“Jeongin,” Felix said, his voice shaking slightly as he spoke, wanting to carry on before Jeongin shook his wrist again.

“No, Felix, you are a genius!” Jeongin was almost yelling, “You learnt Korean so quickly and you can dance and box and you work a full-time job and you saved me! You saved me, hyung! Who knows what would have happened to me if you hadn’t been there that night? We all appreciate you so much, please don’t feel like you’re worth less than us or something else stupid like that.”

The words confused Felix, his brain telling him not to believe them, telling him to be uncomfortable and scared by all the affection he didn’t deserve. But his heart, his heart was fluttering, telling Felix to listen to Jeongin, to believe what he was saying, to bask in the love he was being showered with. His hands began to shake as his body reacted to what Jeongin was saying, confusion and shame and fear all crackling in his every cell. 

He stumbled back, ripping his wrist from Jeongin’s grip as he brought a hand to his chest. He needed to get out. He needed time to think. He needed to get his thoughts in order.

“I’m going to the gym,” Felix was able to say, turning around and ripping the door open, “I have a big match tomorrow, I need to prepare.”

“Felix, I know about the match,” Jeongin ran over and joined Felix in the doorway, eyes still flickering with panic, “I’m coming, remember? I’m going to watch.”

The words made Felix pause, surprise and confusion sparking within him as he briefly remembered Jeongin asking him to buy tickets, to give him the time and place of where it would be so he could come and see.

“Oh yeah,” Felix said quietly, pausing slightly before tuning to face Jeongin again, their gazes locking again, “Then you know I need to train. Please let me go, Jeongin. Please let me prepare.”

There must have been something really desperate flashing on Felix’s face as he spoke, because Jeongin reluctantly nodded a second later, reaching out to squeeze Felix’s hand briefly before letting go.

“Just don’t train too late, okay?” Jeongin said, “Text me when you get home, or even better come back and sleep here to save you the long journey back.”

Felix nodded in a way that suggested neither of them believed that he was going to do either of those things, but they didn’t comment on it as Felix gave Jeongin one last look before walking off, making it to the end of the corridor in Jeongin’s apartment block before he heard the front door close behind him. 

He'd made it to the gym within 10 minutes, letting himself in and nodding briefly at Jeongyeon who was training with someone else before making his way over to one of the punching bags. He made quick work of taping up his hands and swapping his jeans for dark grey sweatpants, ready to fight within minutes. 

It was a struggle not to go in guns blazing, Felix’s fists wanting nothing more than to just smash into the punching bag over and over again until his hands couldn’t take it anymore. But he was coherent enough to know he’d injure himself without a warm up and then all his work for his match tomorrow would be nothing. So he started off slow, letting all the emotion inside of him simmer before he allowed it to boil over and explode. 

He started to feel Jeongyeon’s eyes on him as he got going, his fists getting harder and the punching bag recoiling back more and more as his muscles began to loosen and his breaths began to quicken, the familiar feeling of life starting to tingle in his veins. 

But this time it wasn’t just a feeling of euphoria, a feeling of being alive, it was also a feeling of longing, of pain, of loss, of all the nasty things Felix had stabbing away at his cracked heart. The emotions heated perilously in his mind, travelling all the way down his arms and to his knuckles where he pounded them over and over again into the material in front of him, hoping they might leave him alone, hoping he might finally be able to win against his demons, hoping he would finally be able to destroy them for good. 

It was all for nothing. 

The longer Felix went, the stronger the pain got, and soon Felix was pounding into the punching bag like it was his worst enemy, all his rage and fear and upset cooking dangerously inside him as he sweat and growled and punched, teeth bared and eyes glaring like knives. 

He was angry.

He wanted to be angry.

He could control anger. He could handle anger. He could choose anger, and if he could choose it then it was always better. 

These thoughts Felix had, these relentless voices in his head, he couldn’t choose. They were always there, picking away at him and criticising and insulting, sounding suspiciously like his parents as they tore his life apart around him. 

But now it wasn’t just Felix’s family, it was Jeongin. It was Jeongin who Felix had so many feelings for, so many thoughts about, so much to say when he knew he didn’t deserve any of it. Jeongin was everything Felix wasn’t. Jeongin was light. Jeongin was sunshine.

Jeongin was love.

Love. Something so unfamiliar yet so painful to Felix. Something that ran through his veins and burned blisteringly along his skin, lighting up everything he touched but also setting it on fire, making everything warm and tender but also turning it to ash, making everything beautiful and magnificent but also bringing it to the ground. 

Felix didn’t know if he knew what love was, but he did know that the feeling he got around Jeongin, the warm feeling that squeezed his heart, it was the same feeling he got when he boxed, the same feeling he got when his sister smiled, the same feeling he got when he had moments to think that maybe the world around him wasn’t so bad anymore. 

The feeling scared him, terrified him in ways he couldn’t even begin to comprehend, so he boxed. If he boxed, he didn’t have to comprehend it. If he boxed, he had a way to channel his fear into rage. If he boxed then he wasn’t thinking, and if he wasn’t thinking then everything would be better. 

But nothing was getting better, and Felix felt the emotions getting deadlier and deadlier inside him as he kept going, the punching bag beginning to blur menacingly in front of him. 

He briefly registered Jeongyeon saying goodbye to him, worry in her eyes as she softly asked Felix to lock up behind him. Any other night she would have forced Felix home and into bed, but he knew she must have seen something in him, seen something in the way that he punched that showed he needed it. So, she gave him kind eyes and a gentle smile, quietly saying she couldn’t wait to see him at his match tomorrow as she waved goodbye.

Felix didn’t know what time it was, but he knew it must have been late if Jeongyeon was leaving. He carried on though, uncaring of the exhaustion weighing deeply on his bones as his fists came back and forward, back and forward, back and forward, knuckles bruising and swelling as the sweat dripped down his face and blood roared in his ears. 

His phone started to ring, Jeongin’s sunshine smile lighting up the screen and sending lightning scorching through Felix’s heart as he forced his eyes away and back to the punching bag, an extra spark of adrenalin crackling through his veins as his arms came back again and his fists met the fabric. 

Texts vibrated against the screen, but he didn’t even bother to look at those, knowing it’d be Jeongin worrying about the late hour and Felix’s lack of message stating he got home. It hurt Felix to ignore him, but it hurt even more to know he wasn’t worthy of the worry Jeongin would be feeling. 

At some point, Felix should have guessed that the world start fighting back, should have guessed that he wouldn’t be allowed to experience relief for too long, should have guessed that his love would only bring him pain.

This time it came from the punching bag. Felix pounded his fist into it too hard and lost track of his defence for a fateful second, the bag swinging back down brutally to smack him directly in the face.

He landed on his back, stars exploding behind his eyes and breath leaving him in a rush as he met the floor and the last straw finally broke. Felix choked on a sob, and then another, and another, and another, and suddenly he was curling up on the floor, head pounding, nose bleeding and tears falling. 

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, sobs racking brutally through his entire frame, but it was long enough for his soul to feel like it was coming apart. The floor grew wet underneath him, a vile concoction of his tears, sweat and blood from the nose bleed the punching bag had given him as he heaved brutally, back distorting and breaths stuttering with emotions so strong he couldn’t comprehend them. 

Why was he like this? Why was he so weak? Why couldn’t he just be happy?

Felix asked himself the questions over and over again, replayed them agonisingly through his mind as his sobs continued to paralyse the air, vision swarming disturbingly around him.

Maybe that was the reason Felix didn’t see Jeongin running in, maybe it was because he was too far in his own mind, but suddenly there was a pair of hands on his shoulders, and another in his hair, and before he’d even realised it he was being pulled against a soft chest, the fabric of Jeongin’s pyjamas brushing soothingly against his face. 

“Hey, Lixie, it’s okay, you’re okay,” a soft voice started saying, the sound of it vibrating through the chest Felix had his face pressed against, his cries and sniffles staining the boy’s t-shirt. 

“Just breathe, Felix, remember to breathe for me,” this voice was different and it spoke in English, a familiar Australian accent floating into Felix’s ears from behind as Chan used one hand to rub his back and quickly used his other to grab a towel and press it against Felix’s face, the white fabric immediately going a sickly red. 

Felix only sobbed harder, unable to handle the love and happiness and kindness being offered to him as he was cradled in the two boys’ arms, his heart fluttering at the feeling of Jeongin’s soft fingers carding delicately through his hair and drawing invisible patterns on his arms. He didn’t deserve this love. He didn’t deserve it from them.

But he wanted it so bad.

He wanted to stay in Jeongin’s arms forever. 

He wanted it so bad.

“Jeongin,” Felix cried into Jeongin’s chest, his voice shaking and cracking as Jeongin lowly shushed him, bringing his face down to press a gentle kiss on Felix’s head, keeping his lips there and nuzzling his nose through Felix’s locks as Felix’s breath hitched at the feeling, “I’m so sorry, Jeongin.”

“Shhh hyung, you have nothing to apologise for,” Jeongin was rocking them now, whispering into Felix’s hair as Chan shuffled away so Jeongin could wrap his arms completely around Felix, cocooning him in a blanket of warmth, “You’ve saved me, you’ve saved me so many times hyung, it’s time for me to save you now.”

Felix’s chest stuttered at the words, an unidentifiable feeling racing through him as his limbs began to droop, all the tension draining from him at Jeongin’s gentle touch. He continued to sniffle and cry, but his sobs started to slow, replaced by the sounds of Felix’s shaky breaths as Jeongin continued to whisper in into his hair, telling him that it was okay, that it was okay to let it out, that it would all get better soon. 

Felix briefly registered Chan disappearing frim his blurry line of sight, going to pack up Felix’s stuff and turn off all the lights and lock up like Felix should have been doing. Felix wanted to feel guilty for it, wanted to feel guilty that Chan was doing his job, but Jeongin was reassuring him, reassuring him so gently that Felix couldn’t help but practically melt into his arms. 

“That’s it, that’s perfect, you’re doing so well, hyung,” Jeongin praised as the tears finally stopped dripping from Felix’s eyes, his entire body beginning to loll in exhaustion as Jeongin carefully moved his head so they could look at each other.

The towel fell from Felix’s face and Jeongin was quick to pick it up and fold it over to use a clean side to wipe Felix. His fingers were gentle and slow as he carefully rid Felix’s skin of all the snot, tears and blood that were covering it, relief flooding through him when he realised Felix’s nose had stopped bleeding.

“There we go,” Jeongin said gently as he put the towel down, gazing softly down at Felix with stars shimmering comfortingly in his eyes as Felix nodded, not trusting his voice but needing Jeongin to know that he was coherent. 

“You ready to go home?” Jeongin asked softly, brushing one of his thumbs over the freckles on Felix’s left cheek and smiling softly when Felix closed his eyes at the touch, “You can come back to ours, I’m not letting you be alone tonight.”

Felix wanted to protest, to argue that Jeongin didn’t need to do that for him, but he couldn’t deny how much the idea of being alone terrified him. So, he stayed silent as Jeongin and Chan helped him up, draping himself heavily over Jeongin’s side as they began the short walk home. 

Chan locked the gym doors behind them and put the keys in Felix’s backpack that he was carrying on his own shoulder whilst using one of his hands to support Felix’s back as Jeongin practically carried him home. The position and timing were eerily familiar, Felix feeling a strong sense of déjà vu as he was thrown back to the night it all started, the night where he had saved Jeongin from a whole different kind of monster.

And now Jeongin was saving him, carrying him home once again after gently pulling him away from the edge of the cliff, using soft touches and gentle words to reassure Felix that they would always save each other, that no matter what the voices in Felix’s head said, they did deserve each other. 

They were each other’s safety net, and they weren’t going to let each other fall. 

Felix was practically asleep on Jeongin by the time they made it back to the apartment, Chan unlocking the door and holding it open for them as they arrived. Felix blinked groggily, expecting to be deposited on the sofa and given a blanket to sleep under, groaning softly in surprise when Jeongin ignored the sleepy pairs of roommate eyes on them and pulled Felix past the living room and into his bedroom. 

It was a bedroom that Jeongin was supposed to share with Jisung but Jeongin reassured Felix that Jisung was going in with Woojin and Minho that night. Felix was carefully placed down on Jeongin’s bed and he whined pitifully when Jeongin pulled away to find some clothes to change into. Jeongin just shushed him softly, a small giggle leaving his lips as he came over to help Felix to change into one of Jeongin’s bright yellow t-shirts before laying him down once more. 

It only took a couple more minutes for Jeongin to get ready after that, and soon he was climbing carefully into the bed with Felix, pulling the blankets over both of them and tugging Felix against his side. Felix went willingly, soaking in Jeongin’s heavenly warmth as he wrapped his arms around him and started spooning him, the two of them breathing in each other’s scents as Jeongin brought his lips down to place a tender kiss on Felix’s hand. 

“Goodnight hyung,” Jeongin whispered, his voice angelic and soft against the darkness in the room., “Everything will be alright in the morning.”

“Goodnight, little bean,” Felix was able to whisper back, speaking for the first time since Jeongin had come to save him, “Thank you for everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> I'm kinda unsure about this chapter, so please tell me what you think xx
> 
> Next chapter will be focused on the big match they talked about in this chapter and that should be up by Thursday (hopefully)
> 
> Have a blessed day and remember to drink water <33 xx


	5. Get in the ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy Felix loved was the only thing Felix had left to fight for, and he would be damned if he didn’t fight with everything he had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there
> 
> Welcome to chapter 5!! This chapter was actually really difficult to write and I still have no idea if I'm happy with it or not, but I decided that I've fiddled around with it enough so I should post
> 
> The accuracy behind this is not great so please excuse that
> 
> Enjoy!!

Felix and Jeongin woke up wrapped around each other. The Sun was piercing through the curtains, coating them in a warm glow as Felix slowly blinked his eyes open, rubbing his face against the pillow a couple of times but smiling as his sight landed on Jeongin snoring peacefully in front of him. His red hair was messy and falling over his forehead, nose scrunching up as he breathed and mumbled incoherently to himself in his sleep, Felix feeling like his entire world was at peace as he watched him. 

There were still tear marks on Felix’s face and his cheeks were still a little swollen from his breakdown the previous night, but his heart somehow felt lighter, like he had finally rid himself of a burden he had being carrying too long. It hadn’t completely gone away, it probably never would, but it somehow felt easier to deal with when Jeongin was around. 

At least that was what Felix told himself as he shyly watched the redhead blink his eyes open, yawning cutely as he brought up a hand to rub against his face. He whined softly as he crossed into the waking world, Felix almost cooing out loud as Jeongin finally rubbed the sleep away and his large eyes fell on Felix, a soft smile gracing over both their faces.

“Morning sunshine,” Jeongin said softly, brushing his messy hair away from his face, “Are you feeling okay?”

“…I don’t know,” Felix’s smile dropped a little as he remembered the events of the previous night, “I’m just… I’m just really glad you were there.”

“I’m glad I was there too,” Jeongin said quietly, his cheek resting on his hand as he stared at Felix lying on the other end of the pillow, “It’s better not to be alone, hyung.”

“I know that now,” Felix admitted honestly, “Thank you. Thank you for helping to show that to me.”

“Of course, hyung,” Jeongin’s eyes were serious, staring straight at Felix as he spoke, “I’ll always be here for you. Even at the big match today, which I can’t wait for.”

Felix’s face broke out into a smile as he remembered the match, turning to bury his face in the pillow as he laughed, “I completely forgot about the match.”

“You sure you’re feeling up for it, hyung?” Jeongin frowned slightly, “I’m sure your coach would understand if you were still upset.”

“I’ll be okay, little bean,” Felix turned to look back at Jeongin, reaching a hand under the blankets to squeeze his hand, “I didn’t do all that training last night for nothing.”

“Okay hyung,” Jeongin said softly, “Shall we eat breakfast?” 

Felix merely smiled in response and the two hugged tenderly under the blankets before getting out of bed. Jeongin gave Felix a fluffy mint green hoodie to wear over his match clothes which consisted of a black sleeveless shirt and a pair of black shorts, the pastel colour being unusual to Felix but looking absolutely adorable on him if the way Jeongin was squealing was anything to go by. 

Jeongin of course looked gorgeous as well, his sky-blue jumper decorated with baby-pink flowers, white jeans leading down to mismatched green and orange trainers. 

They walked into the kitchen hand-in-hand, being greeted by the sight of Jeongin’s seven other roommates all flitting round the kitchen, eating breakfast and throwing items at each other to pack into a few backpacks dotted around the room. 

“Going somewhere?” Jeongin asked, eyebrows raised as him and Felix puzzledly watched the chaos around them.

“Yep,” Changbin turned around popping the ‘p’, a mischievous glint in his eyes and a black beanie sitting atop his head, the same colour as his ripped turtleneck, “Woojin-hyung surprised us.”

“Surprised you with what?” Felix asked, sitting down as Jeongin went to grab them both a cup of coffee.

“With this,” Woojin turned around from where he was back-hugging Minho, pink and white striped long-sleeved t-shirt holding a handful of pieces of paper out to Felix, “Hope you don’t mind.”

Felix scrunched his face up as he took the paper, eyes widening when he realised he was holding seven tickets to his match that day.

“Oh my god,” Felix looked up at them all, “You guys are all coming?”

“You’re coming to the match as well?” Jeongin joined in as he sat next to Felix, a huge grin on his face, “No way.”

“Yes way,” Hyunjin laughed, his fresh white hair glimmering against the silver choker round his neck, black crop-top bouncing around as he gestured, “I’ve never been to a boxing match before, I’m excited.”

“Well, I hope I can give you a good show,” Felix replied, taking Jisung’s spoon and eating a mouthful of the cereal the boy had in front of him.

“I’m sure you will,” Chan ruffled Felix’s hair as Jisung spluttered a mouthful of milk in protest, his blue hair sticking out painfully against his hot-pink sweatshirt but still somehow looking good all the same, a complete contrast to Chan who wore a monochrome grey hoodie with ripped black jeans, his nose-ring back to its original silver. 

“And if you don’t,” Minho spoke up, suave silk red blouse tucked loosely into designer black jeans, “Then you can buy us all ice cream in return.”

Felix spluttered, prompting laughs from the entire room as he shook his head, Jeongin placing a hand on his shoulder and giggling into his neck as he pouted. 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll do great,” Seungmin said, plaid black and white dress shirt sitting on his shoulders as he tried to fight off Changbin who was trying to place probably his twentieth kiss on Seungmin’s cheek in the past two minutes, “We’ll be rooting for you.”

“Thanks, Seungminnie,” Felix smiled softly, a small trickle of confidence settling within him as he settled his eyes over the eight boys who were going out of their way to watch him, to support him, to remind him they were there. It still made Felix feel slightly uncomfortable, the boy still feeling undeserving of everything they were doing for him, but he couldn’t deny the warmth that it filled him with, the love that was blooming in his veins. 

“You’re going to do great,” Jeongin smiled, softly squeezing Felix’s hand, “I’ve seen you fight before, hyung, you know what you’re doing.”

“Thanks, little bean,” Felix smiled, the two staring at each other for a moment before Changbin loudly cleared his throat.

“Do you know who your opponent is, Lix?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in amusement as both Jeongin and Felix whipped round to look at him, a faint blush coating both of their cheeks.

“Um, no, I’m not sure,” Felix answered, “Usually I’d know, but I guess Jeongyeon will tell me before the match.”

“Okay,” Changbin shrugged, going back to his breakfast as Jeongin and Felix started to eat the eggs Woojin and Minho placed in front of them.

They walked to the centre for the match together, all nine of them pushing and playing around with each other as they got closer. Felix tried to join in with them, but he was also trying to get into his match headspace as well, so he stayed quiet, using the arm Jeongin had threaded through his to ground himself.

The eight roommates all entered through the front, waving and shouting good luck at Felix who went around the back to find the changing rooms and meet Jeongyeon. He was quick to shed his hoodie and change his shoes, leaving his bags on the rack as he went to the warm-up area.

Jeongyeon was there waiting for him, Felix immediately heading over before catching sight of who she was talking to. Disgust filled him as he realised it was Jaemin, Felix now seeing the boy in a whole new light after finding out what he’d done to Jeongin. 

“Felix, hi!” Jeongyeon smiled as she spotted him, waving him over and gesturing a clipboard at him as he stopped a few feet in front of her and Jaemin, “You feeling prepared?”

“Yep,” Felix smiled, keeping his eyes determinedly away from Jaemin as he answered, hoping he wouldn’t have to spend a lot of time with the boy.

“Good,” Jeongyeon said, her long brown ponytail bouncing behind her, “Now you’re probably wondering who your opponent is, right?” Felix nodded, and Jeonyeon’s eyes sparkled, completely innocent to the effect her next words were going to have, “Well he happens to be someone from our gym, you’ve met Jaemin, right?”

Felix froze, all coherent thought leaving him as he snapped his eyes up to Jaemin’s smug face, heart dropping to his stomach.

“I’m fighting… Jaemin?!” Felix tried to hide his disgust as Jaemin smirked, an annoying look lighting in the boy’s eyes that Felix wanted nothing more than to punch away.

“Yeah…” Jeongyeon suddenly sounded hesitant, seeming to sense the hostility between them, “Everything’s okay, right?”

“Oh, it’s fine noona,” Jaemin didn’t even look at her as he answered, raising his eyebrows at Felix in a way that drew a growl from the boy’s parted lips, “Right, Yongbok?”

“Everything’s fine,” Felix grit his teeth, hands curling into fists as the boy who hurt Jeongin continued to smile at him, Jeongyeon hovering between them for a few seconds before someone called her name and she hurried away. 

Silence stretched between them, Felix tense and angry while Jaemin remained smug and relaxed, face glowering in a way that suggested he knew everything Felix was thinking.

“Jeongin’s your new boy, right?” Jaemin asked after a few moments, snorting a little as he spoke, almost as if he considered Jeongin beneath him, as if he considered Jeongin nothing more than a little plaything he could fiddle around with, “I’ve seen you two around together.”

“Jeongin is not anyone’s ‘boy’,” Felix snapped, eyes deadly and skin itching with the need to fight, “And I think you’ll find it’s none of your business!”

With that, he stormed away, knowing he’d have to wait for the match to start before he got to try and punch the boy’s perfect teeth from his annoying face. Felix quickly went to grab his gloves and mouthguard, wanting to get going as soon as possible, but he was soon distracted by Seungmin walking by.

“Seungmin!” Felix dashed after him, only taking a few seconds to reach him as Seungmin turned around looking surprised. 

“Oh, Felix,” Seungmin smiled and pushed his glasses up his nose, “Didn’t expect to see you here. I got lost on my way back from the bathroom.”

“Right,” Felix shook his head, barely listening as the adrenalin pumped through his veins, “I need you to get a message to Jeongin for me.”

Seungmin instantly straightened up, seeming to sense Felix’s distress, “What is it?”

“My opponent is Jaemin,” Felix got straight to the point, nodding knowingly at Seungmin’s wide eyes, “I know. I need you to tell Jeongin that if he doesn’t want to see Jaemin, or if that this is going to upset him, then I won’t be offended if he leaves. I won’t be offended if any of you leave.”

“Okay, got it,” Seungmin nodded determinedly, “I’ll do that Felix. You don’t focus on anything but winning your match, okay? We’ll take care of Jeongin.”

“Thank you so much,” Felix pulled him into a tight hug, relief burning through him before Jeongyeon screamed his name and he had to dash away, throwing Seungmin a wave over his shoulder.

“Good luck!” Felix heard Seungmin shout before Jeongyeon practically pulled him into the warm-up room, screeching that Felix only had five minutes to be ready or they would start without him. Felix giggled a little to himself, knowing that Jeonyeon would never do that, but also starting his warm-up all the same.

The five minutes flew by and soon Felix was standing just outside the ring, bouncing on his feet as he waited for permission to step inside, preparing himself for the sight that would be Jaemin entering at the other end. Felix cast one more glance down at his phone, smiling to himself despite being in game-mode.

 

Seungmin  
Jeongin’s staying  
-  
He says it will be quite satisfying to see you beat Jaemin up  
-  
But he also says no pressure  
-  
Apparently, he’ll still love you if you don’t win

 

Felix couldn’t hold back his laugh, a warm fuzzy feeling squeezing his heart as he realised Jeongin was staying for him. It gave him all that more motivation to win and he suddenly couldn’t wait to be throwing fists at Jaemin, even if he wasn’t allowed to really hurt him. 

The signal was given for Felix and Jaemin to be ready, and Felix took deep breaths to himself as he pulled on his helmet and mouthguard, gloves already in place. Jaemin was at the other end of the ring, still smirking at Felix with one eye as he took sips of his water bottle. 

It was only a matter of minutes before they were facing each other, fists raised and fight ready as they stared each other down. Felix pulled his eyes away for a couple of seconds to stare at the crowd, skimming over every face before he caught of eight familiar pairs of eyes staring at him, cheering and clapping from where they were positioned near the front. Jeongin was in the middle of them all, several arms looped over his shoulders as he made a point of not looking anyway near Jaemin, flashing Felix a blinding smile that made his heart swell.

Felix felt one last surge of confidence within him before the match started and all his softness was replaced by cold, hard anger as he found himself eye-to-eye with Jaemin. The two immediately leapt straight into it, feet pulling them towards each other as the first fist flew.

The two sparred like they never had before, a feeling filling them that had them piercing daggers at each other with their eyes, a feeling that was more than just a will to win. 

This wasn’t just a match. 

This wasn’t just a competition.

This was about Jeongin. 

Felix knew what Jaemin was capable of and he hated him for it, hated what the boy had done, hated the way he had made Jeongin feel. And this hatred was what fuelled his every movement as he sent hit after hit Jaemin’s way. 

The two danced around each other, launching attacks and keeping up defence as they tried to corner one another. Sweat coated them and their pants continued to get faster and faster the longer the match went on. The rounds went by and neither of them showed any signs of giving up, nothing but determination spiralling through their veins as they both aimed for the win.

Felix lost track of time as the pair continued to fight, gloves flying and fists landing, Felix feeling his muscles burning with fire and nerves tingling with ice as the match continued to go on. There was sweat pouring down his forehead, a familiar dryness clogging his throat, an invisible force squeezing his lungs as he began to tire, arms and shoulders aching from throwing all the hits. 

But this feeling was nothing but familiar to Felix, nothing but home as he growled and panted, feet pulling him dizzyingly around the ring to the point where he could barely see straight. 

This was it.

This was the zone.

This was the feeling Felix craved. 

He started to advance on Jaemin, forcing him to the corner of the ring as the cheers from the crowd around him got louder than the ringing in his ears. Adrenalin soared through him like a drug as he threw punch after punch after punch after punch, Jaemin starting to tire and get sloppy against Felix’s sudden surge, his eyes showing a frustrated kind of defeat that Felix pounced on. 

The crowd was screaming. Felix was punching. And Jaemin looked ready to drop.

For a second, the two locked eyes, and all Felix could see was the boy who had hurt Jeongin, the boy who had manipulated the one Felix loved, the boy who had cheated and exploited and manipulated the kind soul that was Jeongin. 

Anger clouded Felix’s entire being for just one tiny second and it proved to be fatal. Jaemin took advantage of Felix’s momentary lack of focus to throw his own punch that had Felix’s neck snapping back, mind reeling. He carried on his attack, Felix forced to retreat further and further, heart flickering when he felt his back meet another corner of the ring, the rope digging into his back as Jaemin charged forward, his gloves pounding against Felix. 

The screaming drowned out around him, Felix just trying to defend himself as Jaemin’s face blazed with a new kind of fury, his fists coming forward and back, forward and back, forward and back, Felix feeling the impact of every single one.

For a second, all hope was lost.

Felix was defeated.

Felix couldn’t counter the attack.

Felix had failed.

Devastation swarmed through Felix as he cursed his own weakness, hating himself for letting everyone down. He let his head loll to the side, wondering where he was supposed to go from here. But then Felix’s eyes locked with Jeongin’s, and the boy was screaming.

Jeongin was screaming.

Somehow every other voice in the room faded away as Felix’s attention zeroed in on nothing but the boy who meant everything to him. Jeongin was screaming that Felix could do it, screaming that Felix needed to fight back, screaming that Felix was and always would be strong enough. Felix somehow heard the words loud and clear, somehow heard every syllable being shouted despite all the other voices in the room, and it was like a tiger had awoken inside of him. 

The boy Felix loved was here. The boy Felix loved was brave enough to watch Felix fight against his manipulative ex, and Felix was letting him down. The boy Felix loved was the only thing Felix had left to fight for, and he would be damned if he didn’t fight with everything he had. 

A feral roar ripped itself from Felix’s throat as he brought his hands back and pushed with the force of a thousand suns, Jaemin jumping at the sudden attack and momentarily stumbling in surprise. Felix took advantage of the weakness and began punching and pushing Jaemin further and further back until he had no means of escape, Felix’s strength proving to be too much as Jaemin struggled to defend himself. 

Lightning was scorching through Felix’s veins, flames were tingling along his skin, electricity was pounding through his heart, and he relished in it. Every last drop of his strength was used to attack Jaemin, his chest rising and falling furiously as he took every pain in his body and tried to push it onto Jaemin, wanting the boy to suffer, wanting the boy to know what he had done, wanting the boy to accept the defeat he had forced on Jeongin.

Felix was unstoppable, and he felt alive with the feeling of it.

He didn’t know how they long it went on like this, Felix fighting relentlessly as Jaemin tried not to collapse under the weight of his attack, but it was definitely long enough. The bell rang to signal them to stop, and Felix almost crashed with the sudden energy drop he experienced. He had used every last piece of adrenalin to fight, and there was not a single bit left inside him as he dragged himself over to his corner and someone held his bottle to his lips, helping him down all the liquid that was left inside it.

They had used all their rounds now. They’d take a few minutes to collect themselves, and then it would be time to find out who won. 

Jaemin’s entire body was strung tight with frustration, the boy sending regular glares Felix’s way that Felix didn’t have the energy to send back. He simply wiped the sweat off his forehead and slumped over to the centre of the ring where the referee was waiting to take each of their hands. 

It seemed like forever before the judges signalled their decision, Felix feeling every one of his muscles pulsing with anticipation as he waited to find out if he had won, waited to find out if he had let Jeongin down or not, waited to find out if he was really worthy of the boy he loved.

The entire room faded away around Felix as the judges announced the winner and Felix’s hand was pulled into the air, displaying his victory to everyone. He dropped to his knees in a combination of exhaustion and relief, a loud breathy laugh leaving his lips as he realised he had actually done it! He had won! He had succeeded!

A feeling of complete euphoria ignited within him, arms shaking and skin tingling as he smiled, the crowd going crazy around him. A series of particularly loud screams erupted from where Felix knew and Jeongin and his friends were watching, and he lifted his head to grin at all of them, laughing again as they all screamed and jumped, Jeongin beaming with so much pride that Felix thought he was about to explode. 

The next few minutes were a complete blur, Felix barely stuttering through Jeongyeon’s congratulations and a few hugs from people he wasn’t sure he knew or not before he was walking down a corridor towards the changing room, a buzz of happiness racing through him when he saw Jeongin rushing at him from the other end.

“Felix-hyung!” Jeongin squealed as he launched himself into Felix’s arms, Felix just about catching him with his tired limbs and holding Jeongin to his chest, “You did so amazing! Oh my god, I’m so proud! Well done!”

“Thanks, Jeongin,” Felix smiled softly into Jeongin’s neck, feeling all his exhaustion melt away as Jeongin tightened his arms and legs around him, squeezing him like a koala, “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Don’t be silly hyung!” Jeongin pulled away to slide down Felix, keeping his arms around his neck but looking at him with serious eyes, “You did that all on your own, you should be proud.”

Felix giggled, meeting Jeongin’s eyes happily as the two continued to stare at each other, everything fading away around them as they both smiled, eyes locked in a moment that was for no one but them. 

Or it would have only been for them if Jisung didn’t choose that moment to leap in between them and scream in Felix’s face, throwing his arm around his shoulders and shouting something about boxing and winning and doing amazing. Felix laughed as he returned the embrace, all the other boys swarming around them and shouting their own variations of ‘well done!’ or ‘congratulations!’.

It felt nice to Felix, having so many people rooting for him after a win when it’d usually just be Jeongyeon and maybe a few teammates. It filled him with a warm, fuzzy feeling that he’d never admit to out loud, but he still treasured all the same. The winning high was still swirling through his blood and it allowed him to think that maybe, just maybe, he did deserve these amazing boys around him. Maybe he was just as skilled and talented as the rest of them. 

“Right, we need to celebrate,” Chan declared as they decided to stop blocking the corridor and pull away from the group hug, “I’m taking us out for ice cream.”

The whole group cheered, Jeongin diving over to grab Felix’s hand with a childlike grin on his face, Felix beaming at him like he’d hung the moon.

“You’re coming, right Felix?” he chirped, Felix squeezing his hand and nodding.

“Of course,” Felix smiled, “Just let me change out of these sweaty clothes, okay? I’ll meet you all outside.”

“Okay,” Jeongin smiled, pulling Felix in for a final hug before beginning to lead the rest of the group away, “See you in a minute!”

“See you!” Felix waved, grinning to himself and shaking his head a little as he let himself into the changing room, relieved to find that it was empty.

He ambled over to his stuff, sitting on the bench to rid himself of his sweaty shoes and socks before standing up and turning around to rummage through his bag for the spare clothes he knew he had somewhere. He couldn’t find them at first, brain still foggy with all the emotions of the day. His body was still exhausted and he was taking a little longer than usual to form his thoughts, but Felix wouldn’t change it for anything, knowing this was the result of a win in front of the boy he wanted nothing more than to impress. 

Unfortunately, this meant that Felix was oblivious to all that happened next. He didn’t see Jaemin and three other boys entering the changing room behind him. He didn’t see one of them turning around to lock the door. And he definitely didn’t see Jaemin glaring at Felix’s back with dangerous, vengeance-filled eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop-
> 
> That ending, huh? I really do have some kind of morbid fascination with cliffhangers, so I'm very sorry for that (but also not really)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I should have the next chapter up by Sunday xx
> 
> Here's a reminder that you're beautiful and you should always remember that <3


	6. At the speed of light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix was going to break his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya :)
> 
> Welcome to chapter 6! This was probably the hardest chapter to write out of all of them. A certain character's actions in this were very difficult to get right whilst still being realistic, so I hope it's not too weird to read
> 
> TW: there is serious discussion of emotional abuse in this chapter and attempted manipulative behaviour. Please stay happy and stay safe, my writing is NOT worth getting upset over
> 
> Enjoy! xx

Felix only had a few footsteps warning before two pairs of arms were grabbing him roughly from behind, a surprised yelp leaving his lips as he was swung round. His hair fell in front of his face a second after he caught of glimpse of Jaemin glaring dangerously at him, another boy stood firm behind him, dangling what looked like the key to the changing room menacingly from his fingers.

“Jaemin!” Felix started to struggle against the arms holding him, contorting his neck to whip his hair out of his face and catching sight of two of Jaemin’s close friends pinning his arms painfully behind his back, “What the hell?”

“Don’t ‘what the hell’ me!” Jaemin growled, taking a step closer to Felix to glare at him. Felix tried to turn his head away but one of the boys was suddenly grabbing the back of his head and manhandling him to stare Jaemin directly in the eyes, Felix feeling a spike of fear jolt its way through him at the pure rage Jaemin was directing at him.

The room crackled with tension, Felix feeling swarmed with shock, fear and confusion as his brain tried to catch up with the speed at which everything had happened. He’d just been trying to get changed so he could go out for ice cream with everyone, but now he was being held struggling between what felt like two henchmen. The anger in the room was so thick Felix could practically taste it, Jaemin leaving no room for messing around as he glared at Felix, probably wanting to get whatever this was over with so it was less likely he’d get caught.

“It’s bad enough that you steal Jeongin from me!” Jaemin carried on, bunching up Felix’s shirt in his fists as he yelled, “But then you go and humiliate me in front of him as well!” 

“He’s not yours!” Felix shouted back, desperately trying to pull his arms out of the boys’ bruising grips as the anger on Jaemin’s face only got more dangerous, “And you didn’t deserve to win that match! I did! You hurt him, I just gave you what you deserved.”

Jaemin froze. His fists slowly loosened from where they were gripping Felix’s t-shirt, the uncontrollable anger in his body slowly morphing and changing to form a more calculated kind of fury that had Felix’s blood running cold. 

Uh oh.

This was bad.

This was very, very bad.

This wasn’t the anger the men in the alleyway had showed when Felix had flown in to save Jeongin. This wasn’t the kind of anger that made you sloppy and took away your ability to fight. This wasn’t the kind of anger that clouded your judgement and affected your decisions. 

This was the kind of anger that was cold and unyielding, the kind of anger that spurred from evil intelligence, the kind of anger that was the hardest to fight back against.

Felix had been able to win against the first kind of anger, against the two men who had been crazy and un-calculating and strong but not strong enough for Felix’s trained abilities. But he didn’t think he’d be able to win this time.

He was now outnumbered by four instead of by two, and these boys all knew his fighting technique, they all knew the same moves he did, and they were angry in a way he wasn’t. Felix wasn’t going to be able to fight back against all of them, wasn’t a match for the desire to hurt that was glowing terrifyingly in their eyes.

Felix could only hope that someone outside the changing room would hear and that they would either by able to find a key or force the door open, because Felix didn’t think he’d be escaping this one on his own.

“You don’t get to humiliate me,” Jaemin said in a whisper that was more terrifying than any yell, his voice lethal and deadly in a way that had Felix’s heart threatening to pound out his chest.

For a second, nothing but the sound of Felix’s strained breaths filled the room, but then Jaemin turned and nodded at one of the boys. Felix had a mere second to work out what the gesture could mean before the entire world went white as his arm was forcefully twisted behind his back and fire roared against his skin.

A feral scream left his throat, his legs giving out on him and forcing him to his knees as the bone in his arm snapped, a sickening crunch echoing throughout the room. Felix gagged with the pain, the boy continuing to twist and pull at the limb even though it was already broken, waiting until he heard a horrifying pop that signalled Felix’s shoulder was now out of its joint. His throat was so tight he couldn’t even scream, a pathetic gasp leaving his lips as his whole arm was engulfed in flames, so agonising he could barely even breathe.

Jaemin let Felix get his bearings for a few seconds, waiting for the world to get less blurry and for Felix to calm down enough to pull in a deep mangled breath before he crouched in front of him. He took Felix’s chin in his hands, smiling sadistically at the tears and sweat on Felix’s face as Felix struggled to meet his eyes, body shaking with a vile mixture of shock and pain. 

“This is what you get for hurting me,” Jaemin growled, face mere inches from Felix’s, “You might think that you won, but you didn’t. I will always win.”

“You’re crazy,” Felix was able to stutter out, the world still spinning nauseatingly around him as his entire arm burned with the torture, “You’re absolutely crazy.”

Jaemin only grinned at that, and Felix felt his body tingling with anger. Was this how Jaemin grinned when he had hurt Jeongin? Was this how Jaemin grinned when he hurt others? Was this always how Jaemin grinned when he had his friends break other people’s arms? When he hurt them for simply humiliating him?

Felix knew he should be trying to stay calm, knew he should be doing anything possible to avoid angering Jaemin. But he couldn’t help it. Jaemin looked so smug, so proud, of the torture he was inflicting and it made Felix sick, made him sick in a way he wasn’t able to ignore.

So, with his face so close to Jaemin’s, Felix spit in Jaemin’s eye. 

The reaction was immediate. Jaemin recoiled like he’d been burned, both hands coming to scramble at his face as he exploded into shouting and swear words, falling back onto his butt. His third friend quickly tried to help him, using his sleeve to wipe at Jaemin’s face in an attempt to get the vile liquid off his face, but Jaemin just pushed them away, growling and cursing in a way that Felix would have laughed at if the grip on his broken arm hadn’t tightened so much that he was whimpering. 

“You bastard!” Jaemin screamed, feral eyes landing on Felix before he charged forward and landed one, two, three punches on Felix’s face. 

Felix’s neck snapped back with each one, tears exploding behind his eyes as his entire face seared with ice. Blood immediately pooled below his lips and nose, his left eye watering so hard he could no longer see out of it. 

Sounds began to fluctuate around him, Jaemin’s shouts and curses mingling with the blood in his ears and the sounds of his strained breaths. His skin was crawling with pain, his brain unable to distinguish which of it was mental and which of it was physical, too much happening as his mind scrambled and his head flopped, neck no longer able to support him. 

In the corner of his blurred vision, Felix was able to make out Jaemin giving some sort of gesture to the two boys holding Felix. They abruptly let go and Felix crumpled to the floor, a strangled gasp leaving him when he didn’t think and tried to use his injured arm to catch himself, the bones moving and grinding together in a way that had Felix’s vision going in and out of focus with whimpers and cries. 

He carefully cradled the limb to his chest, blood falling from his face and staining it with red as he curled up on the floor, hearing voices from above him but unable to make out what they were saying. All he could focus on was the burning on his skin, the ringing in his ears, the fear in his blood. He was briefly transported back to the time he’d been lying on his stomach in an alley, preparing himself to take a kick to the ribs before Jeongin had swooped in out of nowhere and protected him from the pain. 

But Jeongin wasn’t going to swoop in this time and Felix wasn’t going to be protected from the pain. It was already racing along his skin, already poisoning his veins, already corrupting his every thought. And Jeongin wasn’t here, Jeongin was far away and safe and, despite the agony Felix was in, he wouldn’t change that for the world. 

He would take a thousand beatings if it meant Jeongin was safe.

“You aren’t listening to me!” was the only warning Felix was given before his collar was grabbed and he was once more yanked unsteadily to his knees, jolting upwards to be face-to-face with Jaemin.

“Now as I was saying,” Jaemin growled, emphasising his words to Felix who was staring back with a blank face, sweat coating his forehead and skin tight with pain, “You’re going to forfeit your win.”

“No!” Felix tried to struggle against Jaemin’s iron grip, but Jaemin merely smacked him round the face and Felix hissed at the feeling of the palm against his already bruised cheek. 

“And then,” Jaemin carried on growling like Felix hadn’t spoken, eyes shining with evil as he nodded at Felix, “You’re going to stop speaking to Jeongin. You’re going to cut him off and break his heart and watch him suffer, just like I did.”

“You’re sick!” Felix rasped out, eyes weak but blazing with anger, Jaemin smacking him again and pulling himself down so he was eye-level with Felix, so close the two were breathing in each other’s air. Felix was still able to make out the faint lines of spit coating Jaemin’s eye, a sick kind of satisfaction pooling in his gut at the thought that he’d at least managed to do that.

“And to top it all off,” Jaemin’s voice was quiet but deadly, sending chills shivering down Felix’s spine, “You’re going to make Jeongin feel like it was all his fault, you’re going to blame it all on him and watch him crumble. He’s going to feel so bad about himself he won’t know what to do anymore.”

Felix felt like throwing up at the words, nausea curling gruesomely inside him as he stared into Jaemin’s eyes, hating the monster that stared right back. It felt like Felix was staring into Jaemin’s soul, he could see all the sick desire that writhed inside the boy. Jaemin longed to break hearts, longed to fiddle with emotions, longed to cut people from the outside but also rip them apart from the inside. Jaemin was a sick, twisted villain and Felix could feel the poison spreading from his touch.

“Why?” Felix whispered, eyes piercing into Jaemin’s, “Why do you want me to do that to Jeongin? Why do you hate him so much?”

“Oh, Felix,” Jaemin almost appeared sympathetic, moving one of his hands from Felix’s collar and using it to cup his face, Felix almost gagging at the unexpected gesture, “This isn’t just a punishment for Jeongin, this is also for you.”

Confusion flickered in Felix’s veins, his eyes widening in fear as a very nasty feeling twisted in his chest, “What?”

“Jeongin was always so good to me,” Jaemin answered, an evil endeared smile lighting his lips that Felix had to resist punching, “He did everything he could to make me happy, he has such a strong desire to please that it only made it that much more fun to break him, to make it seem like it was all his fault when all he’d ever done was open up his heart to me.”

“You asshole!” Felix was snarling now, but Jaemin barely even acknowledged him as he stroked a hand down Felix’s cheek, Felix’s veins lighting up disgustedly at the contact. 

“But then he got away,” Jaemin looked right at Felix, smile changing dangerously to a sneer, “Those stupid friends of his made him happy again, and then you came along and all of a sudden it was like I never even existed. You manipulated him.”

“I’m not the manipulator!” Felix screamed and Jaemin shook him roughly, eyes twinkling at Felix’s hiss at the feeling of his arm being jolted around.

“I know exactly what you are Felix,” Jaemin said, barely even waiting for Felix to recover before he was once again looking him in the eye, Felix almost recoiling at how it felt like Jaemin was seeing right into his mind, “You’re not a heartbreaker, you’re a lover. You bear so much pain and yet you still have so much love to give. You’d be so perfect for Jeongin, but you humiliated me, and now I can’t let either of you be happy.”

“Our happiness is not a toy!” Felix tried to shout, but it came out as more of a rasp instead and Jaemin cackled at Felix’s weakness, his sadistic smile burning holes through Felix’s mind. 

“It’s going to kill you to hurt him,” Jaemin said, scrunching his nose in a way that suggested the thought brought him nothing but joy, “It’s going to kill you, Felix, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”

Felix really did gag this time, Jaemin letting go of him and letting him double over on the floor, watching Felix struggle with keen eyes. His back was rippling and deforming, a combination of pain and nausea as his arm flared and bruises stung, mind barely able to form coherent thought as the dark wisps of unconsciousness started to claw at him. The darkness was tempting, but Felix knew he couldn’t pass out. He was too vulnerable to pass out.

It seemed Jaemin wanted to say something else, his face alive with glee that only fed off people’s pain. He leaned further down towards Felix, grabbing and squeezing his broken arm as he did, eyes perking up at Felix’s choked scream of pain.

“If you don’t do as I say, Felix,” Jaemin whispered directly in Felix’s ear, Felix shivering underneath him, “Then I’ll do all this to Jeongin. I’ll corner him like I’ve cornered you. I’ll break his arm like I broke yours. I’ll mark up his face like I marked yours. I’ll make sure he feels every shred of pain you did, and then some. He’ll be screaming by the time I’m done with him. He’ll be lying broken on the floor just like you are. Is that what you want Felix? Is that you want you want for your precious little bean?”

“You… m-monster,” Felix felt his blood boil at the use of the nickname, his drool landing on the floor underneath him as he tried to speak around the way Jaemin was pinning him to the floor, around the pain that was invading his every cell, around the pure unfiltered anger that was crushing him. 

“I’m not the monster, Felix,” Jaemin said, voice so calm and lethal that Felix felt goose-bumps sticking out on his arms from where he was still shaking and twitching on the floor, “But you will be.”

Dread suffocated Felix at the words, traitor tears springing to his eyes at the thought of what Jaemin was saying. Jaemin was right. Felix didn’t have a choice.

Felix was going to have to be the monster.

A sob bubbled in his chest, Felix having to use every last bit of his inner-strength to stop it from escaping. He was going to break Jeongin’s heart. Jeongin was going to hate him. All the other boys were going to hate him. The loneliness was going to come back, and Felix would be forced back into the isolation he’d spent his whole life running from. 

The beautiful friendships he’d built in the last few weeks, the wonderful relationships he’d been able to build from the traumatising event of saving Jeongin, they were all going to go down the drain. Felix was going to lose it all.

Felix was going to lose everything.

But that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part of it was that, in the midst of all this, Felix was going to hurt Jeongin. 

Jeongin, who had a pure soul and a heart of gold. 

Jeongin, who gave back to the world more than he could ever take. 

Jeongin, who had the world’s most beautiful smile. 

Felix was going to break his heart. Felix was going to have to break his heart.

“No,” Felix tried to say, tried to shake his head. But he knew it wouldn’t make a difference, he had to do what Jaemin said. He had to. Jeongin would be hurt if he didn’t and Felix would never forgive himself if that happened.

But maybe the universe had different plans for them. Maybe fate didn’t want Felix and Jeongin to have to hurt each other. Maybe there was one singular higher power out there that actually wanted Jeongin and Felix to be happy, because Felix was neck-deep in his terrifying thoughts when suddenly what sounded like the call of an angel echoed throughout the room. 

“Felix-hyung?!” 

Felix whipped his head up at the sudden sound of Jeongin’s muffled voice, snapping him out of his thoughts as he jolted to look up to the door of the changing room where the voice had come from, a sharp knock filling the room a second later.

“Hyung, it’s been ages, are you okay?”

“Jeong-!” Felix tried to scream, but a hand slammed its way around his mouth a second later, Felix screaming into the palm as tears streamed down his face and the pain scorched brutally around his body. He could no longer make any noise, but it was too late. The damage had been done. Felix’s shout may have been short and half-muffled, but it had been loud enough and full of enough pain that Jeongin would have heard it. 

“Felix!” the door handle started frantically moving up and down, Jeongin shouting on the other side, “Hyung, what’s going on?!”

“You idiot!” Jaemin screamed, aiming a kick at Felix’s side that had Felix crying into the hand around his mouth a second later, all four boys looking panicked as Jeongin’s shouting got louder outside the room.

“Oh my god, is that Jaemin?!” Jeongin was frantic now, tears recognisable in his voice that broke Felix’s heart, “Help! Someone help! The door’s locked and he’s hurting my friend!”

A loud gaggle of voices started echoing from the corridor, Jaemin looking ready to kill as he stared at the door, the rest of the boys looking around like they had no idea what to do. People were shouting about a key, shouting about busting the door open, and the boy who was holding Felix quickly let go and scrambled away, seeming to realise that it was now a lost cause. 

“Jaemin, what do we do?” One of them hissed and Jaemin whipped round to face him with terror blazing dangerously in his eyes, his cowardly side of full-display. Felix’s chest stuttered as he watched, realising that that’s all that Jaemin was; a coward. A coward who ran when he got caught. A coward who relied on his brainless friends to avoid having to do anything on his own. A coward who Felix had managed to beat in the ring. 

Maybe, Felix thought to himself, the only person he’d need to hurt after all this was Jaemin. Maybe, if Jaemin really did get caught, Felix wouldn’t have to listen to a word the manipulator had said. 

A large flinch rattled his entire body as the door burst open and people swarmed in without a moment’s hesitation, Jaemin and his friends immediately yelling and shouting and spreading out to the corners of the room as security pursued them. The room got loud, extremely loud, and Felix felt himself starting to shake, the darkness in his vision creeping up on him terrifyingly as everything got blurry. Too much happening and too many people and too many voices scrambling through his mind as the room which had been almost empty a second ago, suddenly became very full.

“Hyung!” one voice stood out above all of the others, sounding so painfully familiar as two mismatched trainers appeared in front of Felix, Jeongin dropping down to the floor in front of him.

“Felix, stay awake!” Jeongin was crying and begging, carefully cupping Felix’s face as he spoke, “Felix, you need to stay awake!”

Felix wanted to obey, he really did, but his ears were ringing and his arm was hurting and unconsciousness was squeezing his neck, strangling him and pulling him away to a place where there wouldn’t be any pain.

“Felix, wake up!” Jeongin sounded devastated, absolutely panicked, and Felix felt his heart physically cracking as he listened to it, his vision focusing on nothing but Jeongin’s terrified face before everything disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo…. what do you think?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you thought this was okay. I'm actually very excited to post the last chapter, it has a certain scene in it that I have been excited about since I started writing this story. I should be able to get that up quite soon xx
> 
> Remember to stay healthy and stay safe, ily <33


	7. I'll keep fighting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was only one thing that could have made it better, and Felix soon realised that if he wanted it he was going to have to chase after it himself, even if it meant risking everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is here!!
> 
> Honestly thank you so so so much to anyone who has read and stuck with me on this story. It has been tough, but so much fun to write and I'm so incredibly thankful to all who have read it. Jeonglix now has a very special place in my heart and I can only blame this story for it.
> 
> Thank you and enjoy <33

It was a strange place, that funny little world between consciousness and unconsciousness.

Felix floated there for a while, hearing voices flitting in and out around him as the darkness spiralled around, light occasionally poking in before sailing by. There was an irritation in one of his arms, a nibbling pain that felt like Felix should be screaming but he no longer had the energy to do so as the world went by around him. 

It took him a lot longer than it probably should have to realise there was someone holding his hand, the only constant in his world of uncertainties. There was a voice speaking the back of his mind, whispering that something had happened, something important, and that he needed to wake up to a certain someone who would help make it all better. But the darkness was crushing, and Felix didn’t know if he could escape it just yet. 

He didn’t know how long he lay there, but it was long enough for the hand to go slack in his, like whoever it was had fallen asleep. The idea of that seemed to bother Felix, like he wanted to hold whoever it was and lead them to a bed and swaddle them in blankets and make sure they got a full eight hours of rest. Something was telling Felix that he knew exactly who it was, that he needed to rush back to them because he loved them.

So, Felix mustered up all the energy he could and painfully lifted his eyelids, the weight on them feeling unbelievably heavy but not enough to keep Felix away. The world blurred around him, lights and colours all blending into one, furniture gradually forming around him to make what appeared to be a hospital room. Felix was lying in a bed with white sheets and white covers and white blankets, almost everything in the room was white.

But then Felix lazily turned his head to catch sight of a mop of cherry red hair.

There was a young boy curled up in the chair next to his bed, his hand held out to Felix and his head resting on his knees, childlike innocence smothering carefully over his face.

“Jeongin,” Felix whispered, realisation dawning on him as all the memories came rushing back. Memories of a deadly smile, memories of a locked door, memories of a voice whispering in his ear. Felix’s eyes whipped down to his arm to find it encased in a thick bandage and tied up in a sling, the pain now reduced to a dull throb. 

“Felix,” Felix’s heart dropped at the voice and he looked up to see Jeongin staring at him, tired eyes blinking away sleep and widening in wonder, “Oh my god, Felix you’re awake.”

The air in the room seemed to get lighter as Jeongin sprang forward, face pulled into a relieved smile as his arms wrapped around Felix’s shoulders and his head fell into Felix’s chest, being mindful of Felix’s injuries but also making sure to pull him close.

“Hey little bean,” Felix whispered into Jeongin’s hair, unable to hold back the couple of tears that flooded his eyes as Jeongin nuzzled his nose into Felix’s neck, warmth passing lovingly between them.

“Hyung, I’m so glad you’re awake,” Jeongin spoke into Felix’s skin, hands squeezing his shoulders with all his might. “I’m so, so, so glad you’re awake.”

“Me too, Jeongin,” Felix whispered, running his fingers through Jeongin’s hair with his good arm, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Hyung!” Jeongin sat up quickly, adjusting himself on Felix’s lap and staring up at him like he was disgusted by the idea that Felix would think he would be anywhere else, “Of course I’m here, hyung! I wouldn’t be anywhere else in the whole wide world.”

Felix smiled widely at the words, Jeongin smiling back twice as bright and bringing up his thumbs to gently wipe the tears from both their cheeks, his touch feather-light against Felix’s skin. 

“How are you feeling, hyung?” Jeongin asked softly, and Felix felt his smile drop, the world starting to spin around him. The memories immediately circled his mind, Jaemin’s words ringing ominously through Felix’s brain, confusion and anger and denial beginning to pulse through him. 

“Jeongin,” Felix forcefully pulled his eyes away, staring down at the sheets as he unintentionally fisted a handful of Jeongin’s hoodie, “Jeongin… I can’t,” Felix’s voice cracked, his hands beginning to shake, “Jaemin, h-he said these things. I don’t know if we can… I don’t know if… he wants me to hurt you.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, hyung,” Jeongin reached out to cup Felix’s face, pulling his gaze up so they could stare into each other’s eyes, Felix gasping at the sincerity Jeongin was looking at him with, “Listen to me, okay? Whatever Jaemin said to you, whatever he threatened you with, it means nothing. They caught Jaemin, they caught him and he’s in big trouble. Whatever he wants you to do, it means nothing, okay?”

“But-“ Felix tried to struggle against Jeongin, still hearing Jaemin’s words echoing terrifyingly through his mind.

“No buts,” Jeongin shook his head, cutting Felix off and leaving no room for argument, “It’s okay, Lixie. Jaemin used to threaten me too, but when the guys helped me get away I realised those threats meant nothing. Jaemin’s too cowardly, Lix. He may have cornered you but that’s only because he knew you were tired and he had those stupid friends of his with him. It made him feel more powerful than he actually is.”

“I can’t… I can’t risk something happening to you, Jeongin,” Felix had tears dripping down his cheeks now, a broken look in his eyes as he imagined Jaemin’s fists flying towards his face, Jaemin laughing at him as he writhed on the floor in pain, Jaemin threatening to do the same to Jeongin, “I love you too much.”

“I love you too, Lixie-hyung,” Jeongin smiled softly, tears gathering in his own eyes, his thumbs rubbing soothingly over Felix’s freckles, “And that’s why I’m not going to let anything happen to us. He can’t separate us, I won’t let him.”

Felix couldn’t hold back the sob at that and Jeongin pulled him close, adjusting Felix’s broken arm so he wouldn’t be in pain before carefully stroking a hand down his back and tangling the other in his hair, whispering kind comforting words into his ear.

“I know, hyung,” Jeongin whispered, voice quiet and calming, “It’s over now. It’s just us two here, yeah? It’s just us now, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Thank you, Jeongin,” Felix sniffled into Jeongin’s chest, his good hand coming to rest around his waist, “For everything.”

“No, hyung,” Jeongin smiled and shook his head, “Thank you for everything.”

Felix had been about to open his mouth and answer back, claiming he could go back and forth with Jeongin all day, but then the door opened and Jeongyeon walked in, her usually silky hair messy and dark bags under her eyes. She looked stressed and miserable, at least until her eyes landed on Felix and her whole demeanour lit up, her posture straightening and her face breaking out into a smile. 

“Felix!” she called, and before Felix could even react she was rushing over and pulling Felix out of Jeongin’s arms and into her own, “You have no idea how happy I am to see you awake.”

“Hi noona,” Felix giggled softly into Jeongyeon’s shoulder, “I didn’t realise you were here.”

“Where else would I be, silly?” Jeongyeon pulled away to smack Felix lightly on the shoulder, flashing him a bright smile before settling on one of the chairs by Felix’s bed as Jeongin and Felix snuggled up together, “How are you feeling? How’s the pain?”

“It’s not bad,” Felix shrugged realising he hadn’t really thought about it, “My arm throbs a little and my face kinda burns, but I think whatever they have me strapped up to here is a painkiller because it’s barely noticeable.”

“That’s good,” Jeongyeon said, brushing her hair from her face before straightening up, a serious look appearing on her face, “Listen Felix, what happened between you and Jaemin, I am so sorry. I had no idea a student of mine would do something like that. If I had known I never would have let you fight against him, or even let him enter the gym in the first place.”

“You don’t need to apologise, noona,” Felix quickly said, Jeongin nodding from beside him, “None of it was your fault.”

“I still want to apologise,” Jeongyeon said, face pulled into a frown, “And I want you to know that Jaemin is never stepping foot into the ring again, he’s banned from the gym and all other matches, and he’s being charged with assault. He’s never coming near you or Jeongin again.”

Felix’s eyes widened as he listened, though he wasn’t sure why. He knew what Jaemin had done was wrong, so he didn’t know why he was surprised that Jaemin was actually getting punished. Maybe it was because he expected to have to bow down to Jaemin and do whatever he wanted to protect Jeongin. Maybe it was because Felix actually felt guilty that Jaemin was even being punished in the first place. Either way, Felix wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. 

“Hyung, if you’re blaming yourself, then stop,” Jeongin’s voice cut Felix out of his thoughts, accompanied by a squeeze of his hands that warmed his heart, “You know what Jaemin did to us, he deserves everything that’s coming to him.”

The pain in Jeongin’s voice had Felix turning to face him, catching sight of the strained relief Jeongin had swirling in his eyes, the strained relief that was a result of manipulation and heartbreak, something Jeongin was finally getting to let go of. 

“I know, Jeongin,” Felix said quietly, smiling at Jeongin’s fond look, “Thank you.”

Jeongyeon allowed the pair to stare at each other for a couple more seconds before making a point of loudly clearing her throat, Jeongin and Felix trying to hide their blushes as they turned to face her again, an amused smile playing on her lips.

“As much as I would like to keep watching you two make out with your eyes,” Jeongyeon said, almost bursting out laughing at Jeongin and Felix’s splutters, “There’s something else I need to tell Felix.”

Her eyes quickly slid over to land on Jeongin whose face lit up with a knowing grin, the two sharing a look that had Felix swivelling his head between them, wondering what they knew that he didn’t. 

“What is it?” he asked, not knowing whether to be endeared or nervous at the mischief sparkling between them.

“Well, Felix,” Jeongyeon resettled herself in her chair so she was fully facing Felix, “At the match, there just so happened to be a scout. He was looking for fighters for one of the biggest coaches in the country, someone who puts a lot of players into the professional circuit. He’s produced a lot of big names.”

“Okay…” Felix drew the word out, having an idea what Jeongyeon could be hinting at but not wanting to get his hopes up.

“He watched your fight with Jaemin, and the coach wants you!” Jeongyeon looked like she could barely contain her excitement as she said the words, a wide grin breaking out on her face as she practically squealed.

“No way!” Felix shot up in the bed, disbelief shooting through him as he brought his hand up to cover his face, a million emotions sending fireworks sparking through his mind, “You’ve got to be kidding me! That can’t be real!”

“It’s completely real!” Jeongin screeched form next to Felix, throwing an arm round his shoulders and laughing loudly at Felix’s shocked face, “You’re going places, hyung! You’re going to be famous!”

All Felix could do was laugh as he threw himself into Jeongin’s arms, excitement and surprise and happiness filling his every vein. Years and years of hard work had led to this very moment, years and years of suffering and criticism and put-downs had led him to his biggest success. He had finally done it.

He was finally going to be exactly where he wanted to be.

But then Felix tried to lift his other arm and he was reminded of the sling, of the injury that was going to take weeks to heal and even longer to finally rebuild itself up to the strength it once was. In the time it was going to take to get better, Felix was going to lose his stamina, his strength and his skill, three things incredibly valued in the boxing community. How the hell was he going to prove himself to one of the biggest coaches in the industry?

“But…” Felix tried not to choke around the feeling of his heart shattering in his chest as he pulled devastated eyes up to Jeongyeon, “My injury… I’m not going to be fighting strength.”

“That’s okay, Felix,” Jeongyeon smiled warmly as she leaned forward and placed a hand on Felix’s knee, rubbing it soothingly, “The scout also happened to be there when Jaemin attacked you. He was actually one of the first to hear Jeongin’s call for help and one of the people who helped catch Jaemin. He saw everything that happened.”

“He saw me getting beaten by someone else and he still wants me as a boxer?” Felix asked disbelievingly, tone dripping with confusion as he desperately tried not to feel optimistic, tried not to allow himself to be let down again.

“Felix, you know better than anyone that there’s a difference between violence and boxing,” Jeongyoen said, shaking Felix’s knee slightly as she tried to get her point across, “What that scout saw was you fighting amazingly in a situation where you knew you wouldn’t actually hurt anyone, and then refusing to fight later when the situation got unnecessary and dangerous. That’s noble, Felix, that’s incredibly noble and requires a lot of inner strength. The scout saw that and explained it to the coach and the coach was seriously impressed, he says he’s willing to wait for however long you need.”

“… are-are you serious?” Felix stuttered, hope sparking in his chest that he decidedly ignored, even when Jeongyeon’s eyes lit up in endearment.

“Would I ever joke about this?” she said sweetly, and soon she had an armful of an excited Felix, who somehow managed to fly out of his bed and into her arms without breaking himself or any of his equipment. 

“Thank you, noona,” he said into her shoulder, his good arm slung over her back, “Thank you so much.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Felix,” she replied, smiling softly into his neck, “I always knew you could do it. Make me proud, yeah?”

“I will,” Felix said, pouring his heart into his every word, “I promise I will.”

It was another two hours before a nurse finally discharged Felix from the hospital with strict instructions to take regular painkillers, periodically ice his face and get plenty of rest. Felix just blindly agreed, knowing he probably wouldn’t bother to do most of that. But Jeongin nodded along during the whole explanation, hanging onto the doctor’s every word in a way that suggested he was going to make Felix do it all regardless of whether Felix wanted to or not. 

They walked out the hospital together, Jeongin holding Felix’s good hand and carrying the bag of painkillers given to them by the nurse. They began to make their way to the bus stop when a shout caught their attention and they turned around to see a flustered-looking Woojin waving them over to his car.

“You alright, hyung?” Jeongin asked as they walked over, Woojin trying to flatten his hair and smooth out his oversized purple turtleneck, earrings tangled in his ears.

Woojin nodded frantically, a nervous smile playing on his lips, “Yeah, I was just… I was…”

“We were making out in his car,” came Minho’s smug voice as one of the car doors opened and a messy-haired Minho stepped out, love-bites shining freshly on his skin just above where his low-cut red top hung off his shoulders. 

“Gross,” Jeongin wrinkled his nose, Felix trying not to laugh at the immediate blush glowering on Woojin’s cheeks, “What are you even doing here? I thought you’d be at home.”

“Well when you text us saying you were coming home, we all decided to take up Chan on his offer to buy us ice cream that he made when you won the match, Felix,” Woojin explained, “So the rest headed to the ice cream shop and we came to pick you guys up.”

“Ice cream, yes!” Jeongin bounced on his feet and clapped his hands, all three older boys melting at the sight, “Lets go!”

Felix smiled as Jeongin led him over to the backseat and held the door open for him, closing it behind him before making his way over to his own side, Woojin and Minho settling themselves in the front. 

They chatted contently on the short drive to the ice cream place, Jeongin’s hand never once leaving Felix’s as the scenery flew by them, the city gradually becoming sparser as Woojin parked outside the cute little ice cream shop on the outskirts of town. 

“Here we are,” he announced happily as they all exited the car, already spotting the others sat inside, all five of them crowded round a table probably designed for two. They seemed to be engaging in quite a loud conversation, the servers not looking sure whether to be terrified or entertained.

All five faces whipped around when the other four walked in, the room lighting up with smiles as Chan grabbed some more chairs and Changbin yanked over another table. Felix was given his own chair to sit in, and Jeongin one of his right side, whilst Changbin sat on Hyunjin’s lap, Minho sat on Woojin’s and Seungmin, Chan and Jisung clung tight to their own chairs. 

Felix tried to pay for Jeongin’s order but Jeongin threatened to tie him to his chair if he didn’t stay sat down, so Felix pouted as Jeongin went to order them a large banana split to share and Jisung reached over with a squeal to squeeze Felix’s non-bruised cheek.

“How you feeling, mate?” Chan asked as Felix pouted some more, face pulled up into a bright smile that Felix couldn’t resist smiling back at.

“I’m good,” Felix said, lifting up his bandaged arm, “I’m going to be restless until this heals though.”

“Ah well,” Chan smiled, looping an arm over his shoulders, “I’m sure we can keep you entertained.”

“I’d be surprised if you couldn’t,” Felix said, raising his eyebrow at the other end of the table where Jisung and Changbin were flicking ice cream at each other off plastic spoons and Minho was licking ice cream off Woojin’s cheeks, much to Seungmin’s disgust. 

Jeongin was decidedly not looking at them as he brought his and Felix’s food over, giving Felix a spoon and pushing the bowl between them, neither of them wasting any time to dig in.

It was only a matter of minutes before Felix was getting frustrated at eating with his non-dominant arm and Jeongin giggled as he helped to feed him, the two of them now only using one spoon as Jeongin alternated between giving them each a mouthful. The action made both of them laugh like children and the rest of the table stared at them in wonder, trying to make it look like they were not blatantly staring and freaking out at Jeongin and Felix’s adorableness, but failing miserably as their eyes crinkled up in beautiful giggles. 

The bowl was soon wiped clean and the pair folded themselves into each other, smiles resting lazily on their faces. The expressions became slightly smugger, however, when Felix announced his news of being accepted by a big coach to the group and all the boys exploded into cheers, many hugs being shared and tears being shed as happiness bloomed around them, Felix’s chest warming in a way it never had before. 

This was the friendship he had craved.

This was the love he had wanted.

This was what it was like to be accepted. 

Felix couldn’t help but smile with the feeling, staring at the boys around him with nothing but love in his eyes. It had only been a matter of weeks and yet they’d all gone so far out of their way to accept him, to make him feel comfortable, to support him in his dreams despite his being different to theirs. 

He may have lost his family back in Australia, but he had definitely found a new one here in Korea. 

And that wasn’t even mentioning the beautiful redhead Felix had draped over his side, the beautiful redhead who made his head swim and hands sweat and mood flutter, the beautiful redhead who had come in and stolen Felix’s heart. 

“Hey Jeongin,” Felix said quietly, poking him in the side, “Come on a walk with me.”

Jeongin turned to face Felix with a dazzling smile and stars in his eyes, nodding shyly as Felix laughed quietly back, squeezing his hand as they waved goodbye to the others and left the shop.

Chan watched them go with knowing eyes, a smirk pulling on his lips that he shared with Woojin. The two eldest had expected to be protective when Jeongin found someone else, but they couldn’t help but feel happy knowing it was Felix. 

It was cold outside as Jeongin and Felix made their way over to a bench surrounded by statues in a nearby park, so cold that the place was completely empty as they settled down, Jeongin snuggling up to Felix’s side to keep warm. 

The silence stretched comfortably between them, the sounds of the wind sweeping through their hair and nearby chatter from local shops reaching their ears. It was peaceful, so peaceful that Felix found himself wishing he could stay in that moment forever, could spend his life with serenity around him and the boy he loved in his arms. 

For the first time in his life, he was truly at peace.

There was only one thing that could have made it better, and Felix soon realised that if he wanted it he was going to have to chase after it himself, even if it meant risking everything. 

“Jeongin,” Felix said quietly, waiting until Jeongin slowly lifted his head up to look at him, still leant against Felix’s side, “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it, hyung?” Jeongin asked cutely, large eyes blinking up at Felix in half-concern, half-curiosity.

“Ever since I met you…” Felix swallowed heavily, trying to calm the storm in his mind as he stared at the boy who meant everything to him, the boy who lit up Felix’s entire world, the boy who Felix would do anything for, “Ever since I met you, Jeongin, I’ve been in awe of everything you do. You just have this light about you, you bring wonder and love into everything you do and every day I think about how the world just doesn’t deserve a beauty like you.”

“Hyung,” Jeongin’s eyes were shining as he cut in, Felix bringing up a finger to shush him gently.

“It’s okay, Jeongin, you don’t need to talk,” Felix said softly, staring Jeongin directly in the eye as he carried on, “You are so beautiful inside and out, so stunning in every way, so kind to everyone you meet, and I am honoured to have met you. Every day I get to know you I think… I think I fall a little more in love with you.”

“Felix…” Jeongin looked like he was barely even daring to breathe, his whole face staring up at Felix with complete and utter sincerity and earnest, “Felix, I need you to be completely and absolutely clear with me. What is it… what is it you’re trying to say right now?”

“What I’m trying to say is…” Felix paused uncertainly, wondering truly what it was he was actually trying to say, what it was he needed Jeongin to understand before he realised he didn’t need words at all, he didn’t need words to convey all the feelings in his heart, “What I’m trying to say is I really want to kiss you right now.”

A shocked silence passed between them, Felix feeling his heart pounding into his throat as Jeongin’s eyes widened, the boy staring at Felix in complete disbelief before what seemed to be determination moulded itself over his skin. 

Felix was given two seconds to briefly wonder what this meant before a hand was cupping his face and a pair of lips were slowly pressing themselves against his own, Felix’s mind completely short-circuiting at the feeling. Jeongin’s lips were cold, and his hand was positively freezing, but Felix wouldn’t have changed a thing as the two locked eyes, a feeling of unspeakable love passing between them before their lips found each other again. 

Felix’s hand tangled itself in Jeongin’s hair, Jeongin’s still cupping his face as the two moved in sync, mouths pressing against each other and hearts reaching out to one another as the entire world faded away around them. It was like nothing else existed in that moment, like nothing else would ever matter as the two cradled one another, lips soft and smooth in every single perfect way. 

Their hands warmed against each other, Jeongin beginning to stroke Felix’s cheek as Felix scrunched his fingers in the red hair, the contact lighting up against their skin as their mouths moved in sync.

The kiss was soft, but still full of passion. Every feeling, every emotion, every moment that had led to this was poured into it as the two bared their souls to one another, opening their hearts in a way of showing that they wanted to be together, and they wanted to be together forever. 

It didn’t matter that Felix’s face was still bruised, because Jeongin’s smooth thumb could chase the feeling away. It didn’t matter that Jeongin was still recovering from a broken heart, because Felix’s kindness could put it back together again. It didn’t matter that they had met in dangerous circumstances, because they would always protect each other. 

All they needed was each other’s love, with that they could survive anything. 

And that was exactly what they learnt as they kissed on the park bench, love filling the air around them and soaking into their skin as they held each other, learning to love every single part of one another.

It was a while before they pulled away, breaths heavy and hearts racing as they simply stared at one another, no longer needing words to convey just how crazy they were for one another. Jeongin’s hand slowly crawled into Felix’s and they smiled softly, staring at each other with nothing but love in their eyes.

“I love you, Felix,” Jeongin said quietly, meaning the words in a way he had never meant anything before, needing Felix to know that he loved him with every inch of his heart.

Felix smiled, knowing he now only had eyes for one boy and one boy only, “I love you too, little bean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I hope that was okay!!
> 
> I would quickly like to explain myself for a sec. When I wrote the chapter before this, I seriously considered extending the length of the story and writing Felix having to conform to what Jaemin said (ignoring Jeongin and breaking his heart to stop Jaemin hurting him.) But stories like that (when a character ends up hating another character even tho they were only protecting them) have always hit a little too close to home for me and have sometimes been uncomfortable for me to read, so idk if I have the mental capacity to write one myself. It is an area I'd like to explore with my writing, but I just couldn't do it with Jeonglix. I'm sorry xx
> 
> I hope you understand and that the ending wasn't too underwhelming or disappointing 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this story!! It has been a pleasure to write and read all your beautiful comments <33 (I'll be posting a new oneshot soon about another ship I've never written before *insert suspicious eye emojis* so please look forward to that!!
> 
> Stay happy and healthy!! Feel free to dm on Twitter if you ever want/need to talk <3

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter - @hotelfelixxie <33


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